Friday, June 30, 2006

SUPERMAN RETURNS: My Review


Superman has always been my favorite comic book hero... partially for all of the obvious reasons - the great powers, etc. - but I also think it largely has to do with the fact that I, too, am a small-town boy at heart with aspirations that reach far and wide. I, too, am a cornball who believes in 'truth, justice and the American way' (yes, that's right - the AMERICAN way - chew on that politically-correct apologist sissies).
One of the reasons I love the original Richard Donner film is because he portrayed the character for what he really is - an overgrown boyscout - and made no bones about it.
And who can deny that Christopher Reeve embraced that role so profoundly that it basically removed any hope of him being recognized for any other performance (we'll call it the 'Mark Hamill' syndrome).

My point with all of this is that I go into a movie with the name 'Superman' attatched to it with a lot of lofty expectations - perhaps unrealistically lofty.

'Superman Returns' is a good movie. That's about all I can say right now. The character is treated with the same love and care as the originals and the homages to the Donner films are almost constant. Brandon Routh is fine, and Kevin Spacey is great. But there was just something missing...
My initial feeling is that SO much effort was put into capturing the magic of the original films (including a musical score lifted directly from the brilliant John Williams scores) that film itself was somewhat self-suffocating.

While Routh's acting was perfectly servicable, I didn't feel like he was given enough character-driven action to really bring Superman to life in this version.
Reeve's Superman had a sparkling sense of humor, a temper, and sometimes even a bit of an ego. Routh was clearly overburdened with meeting a gazillion different expectations, and it wound up making both Superman and Clark Kent seem like a cardboard cutout that the rest of the characters interacted with.

Meanwhile, this broad who played Lois Lane - whatzername - was basically irrelevant. I can say with all honesty that I have NEVER approved of her being cast as Lois, and I was 100% right. She's too damned young for one thing, and she's FAR too 'cutesy' to play a tuff dame like Lois. This actress, whom I'm sure might be good in other rolls but I'm too peeved with right now to even bother looking up her name, was far too 'Prime-Time WB sweeps-week eye-candy'.

Parkey Posey plays Lex Luthor's girlfriend in the film, and frankly I think she would have made a MUCH better Lois. I would actually be willing to bet the farm that Posey was Bryan Singer's first choice, but the studio suits probably pulled rank and said "NAH, YA GOTTA GET SOME HOT YOUNG LITTLE CHIPPY IN THERE!"

My other major problem with the movie is - as with many movies - the presence of a moppety-haired little kid. Lois' son Jason (I think every kid in every movie is named 'Jason') acts as a major plotpoint - I won't give away how, but suffice it to say: I hated it.

Having said all of that, the special effects were great - it was nice to see Superman fly and actually have it LOOK REAL. Its connections to the first two 'Superman' movies was enjoyable ('Returns' is considered a "loose sequel" to 'Superman II' taking place five years later).

Anyway, all in all I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda disappointed. I made the mistake of letting my hopes get too high.
As a workhorse to re-start the franchise, I'm sure it'll do fine... maybe if they make another one, I'll like it more. After all, I was equally disappointed by the first 'X-Men' film, but loved the second one. Maybe now that this one is out of the way, Singer, Routh and Warner Brothers in general can loosen their belts a little and let the characters breathe a little more in the next film.

Of course, they'd have to kill off that little kid's character - my... wouldn't THAT be interesting?

I'm anxious to hear YOUR thoughts... so... let the discussion begin!

Monday, June 26, 2006

I HATE BUREAUCRACY WITH ALL THE FLAMES OF HELL


My head is an absolute whirlwind of crap right now and ordinarily I'm pretty good at staying on top of things, but I really am feeling like every time I accomplish one task, twenty other tasks take its place - so I subconsciously wind up feeling like I'm just better off not tackling ANY of my little chores, 'cause then 'they' can't pile more on me (whoever 'they' is). Of course, that's completely counterproductive, but what can I say? I have my limits.
Right now I've got major career issues that require massive amounts of time, energy, money and attention - it's like juggling chainsaws... I've got some sort of nonsense to deal with about my stupid car and the DMV that I don't really understand... I've got a pile of insurance-related paperwork that has needed my attention for ages now... the list goes on...

Come to think of it, my biggest beef with this modern world in general is how deeply embedded bureaucracy has become in our everyday life.

Despite what my family and friends may say, I'm not a stupid person... I have a college degree... I'm generally a good troubleshooter... my thought processes are generally very logical...

And yet, any time you put a pile of paperwork in front of me dealing with any kind of insurance, legal documents, medical documents, credit statements, registrations, 401K, etc. I feel like I'm two years old.

When did everything get so friggin' COMPLICATED? Every time I fill out one form, I get ten more in the mail saying I did it wrong and now I've got to fill out a new pile of forms explaining why. This makes me paranoid about filling out forms at all. I just want to move to the mountains and hide away and eat roots and berries for the rest of my life when I get this crap in the mail.
And, naturally, it's all written in this completely bizarre language that NOBODY actually speaks in - designed to cause as much confusion as humanly possible. I'd be less upset by it all if I wasn't utterly convinced that somebody out there got paid (oftentimes with tax dollars) to devise these completely ass-backwards systems.

It seems to me, the key role of beaurocracy is to feed itself and keep growing until it chokes the life out of everything simple and good in the world. And we all simply accept it and whenever we screw up, we assume it's our fault. How many times have you had to call some sort of support line or help desk and been made to feel like a jackass for asking a question that was ENTIRELY legitimate? Never? Well, it happens to ME all the time.
One time I called the Macintosh tech support number for a question that most people would find extremely simple... now, I am the first to admit that I am NOT very 'tech-savvy', and I stated that to the douchebag who 'helped' me right away... he went on to explain what I needed to do in the most complicated way possible, and I kept having to stop him every two seconds to have him clarify everything because he was using terms that - while I'm sure are very common if you're the guy from 'PI' and surround yourself with a million computers and can calculate the time of day on Mars when the sun first rises on the northern hemisphere in the year 10,000 - BUT I AINT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING TECH SUPPORT!
And this guy has the gall to become impatient with ME!
I finally say to him 'Look - I'm not a computer guy... I'm an animator... I'll bet if I started jabbering on and on about putting a twist-truck-out with a blur pan on ones you'd have no idea what I'm talking about... that's how I feel with YOU... so just cut me some slack!'
This just made him more snotty and I wound up talking to his supervisor who explained to me what I needed to do to fix my computer in about two seconds in a very calm, friendly and understanding way. But by this time I was so ragged that her competence was overshadowed by his massive incompetence.

I'm tired of ranting now... have a nice day...

Thursday, June 22, 2006

MORE VOMIT-BAG ART

Those of you who frequent this blog (as well as Leigh's) may very well notice that neither of us has updated then in a while. The fact is, we've both been burning the candle at both ends... she just started a new job and I've been swamped with my current one - I was sent on a last-minute mission to Toronto last week (which is always a delight since it's at least a full day's worth of travel).
Next week I'll be jetting up to Vancouver for a super-secret project as well...
So, anyway, the point is - we've both been really busy. Heap sympathy upon me.
There's not a lot to comment on other than my hectic life - but at the very least I thought I'd post this little gem of a scene I spotted while hopping from plane to plane last week. Enjoy.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

FILTH IS FUNNY!!!

Here's my idea for a hilarious sit-com! Look for it this fall on one of your favorite networks! MAN, I'm a comedy genius...

Monday, June 12, 2006

I INVENTED A DRINK!


So Leigh and I were relaxing over the course of the weekend, and she started making herself a cocktail... one of her go-to drinks is a 'dirty martini' which basically involves dumping a bunch of olive or onion brine into a regular martini.
I've tried them before and they didn't really thrill me a whole lot (which probably has something to do with me not liking onions OR olives).
But as she's making her drink, it occurs to me that I like PICKLES... so I sez to her, "Hey, make ME one - but use pickle brine!"
She proceeds to mix vermouth, vodka and the brine... I take a sip and - lo and behold - it tastes REALLY GOOD!
Now, obviously, if you hate pickles or tart-tasting stuff in general, you aint gonna like it, but I really dug it! The pickle juice really mixed nicely with the vodka. On top of that, if you garnish it with some pickle slices (baby dills work best), they taste awesome after they soak up some booze!
Naturally, it was then incumbent upon me to name my new creation - after a few false starts, we let the natural phallus-like quality of the pickle be the inspiration and christened it: THE DIRTY DILLDO MARTINI! (it puts the 'DILL' in 'DILDO'!)
The 'Dirty Dilldo Martini' is now a registered trademark of John Fountain and Fountains Pen Productions, all rights reserved 2006 - no use of said name may be allowed without written permission by its inventor or his agents.
Smooth! Refreshing! Pickle-y! Try the John Fountain Dirty Dilldo Martini tonight!

Monday, June 05, 2006

PAST AND PRESENT


I don't really have the time to go into anything particularly new or interesting today, so I just thought I'd post this sample from one of my older sketchbook entries along with a recent waterccolor painting.
Neither of them relate in any way, but somehow I thought they went well together.
If you click on the image you can see it in larger form - it makes the text easier to read. Nothing can be done, however, about my horrible handwriting.