Tuesday, December 12, 2006

BIRTHDAY WISHES! - JUST IN TIME FOR THE HOLIDAYS!


What's that, you say? Still haven't found that perfect holiday gift for that hard-to-please friend, relative, or blood-enemy?
Then you, my dear reader, are in bucketloads of luck...
'BIRTHDAY WISHES!' - the first (but not last) collaborative effort between me and my soon-to-be-wife is now available in hardcover form from Visikids publishing on AMAZON.COM!
Are you tired of children's books that are purile, lame and just plain insulting to their budding little minds?
Are you - yourself - a fan of the genre?
Do ya like funny drawings?
Do ya like a good rhyme?
Then follow this here link and plop down your dough, Jackson, 'cause Leigh and John have answered your prayers!

http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/1933156031/sr=1-1/qid=1165955400/ref=sr_1_1/105-4343581-3041242?ie=UTF8&s=books

Now even though ordering one would be simply marvelous of you, I really must recommend that you order no fewer than ten. I mean, you'll want to give one to at least everyone you know, right? But then, you're a popular person... you know WAY more than ten people. You're right... better order fifty. Good call.

Okay, enough with the sales pitch... but I truly am wildly excited about the release of this book. It's my very first children's book EVER - and believe me I've been asked to do many. It was only after I met Leigh and read her wonderful and unique writing that I felt inspired to tread such waters.

For those of you who are unaware, 'Birthday Wishes' is a story told entirely in rhyme about about twins who take 'sibling rivalry' to a whole new level when they discover that every year their birthday wishes actually come true. As we all know, siblings are prone to wicked pranks, and thus begins their 'wishing war' as they induce all manner of horrors on one another whenever their birthday comes around.

Apart from being Me'n'Leigh's first collaboration, this book was absolutely one of the most fun projects I've ever participated in. It got me back into painting and drawing for the fun of it. For me, this book represents more than just a publishing venture, but an expression of our respective artistic inclinations and a labor of love. That, if for no other reason, is why I think you'll enjoy it.

Sincerely,

John

Monday, December 11, 2006

THE LIVE-ACTION TRANSFORMERS MOVIE WILL PROBABLY SUCK


More and more, I'm learning that the key to enjoying most movies these days is to bring my expectations down as far as they can possibly go. Then, when the movie is merely bad instead of atrocious, I don't feel quite so let down when I leave the theater.
Unfortunately, I'm guessing this is what I will need to do with the July 2007 'Transformers' movie.
The most recent issue of Wizard magazine (yes... I read Wizard... congratulations... you're cooler than me) quoted Lorenzo di Bonaventura - one of the movie's producers - as saying, "The scale of the Transformers is so big... but how do the humans play out? How do you make sure the human actors have an equal role?"
Allow me to answer that little question for you, Lorenzo: YOU DON'T!!!
Here's a little tip for ya... people who go to see a movie called 'Transformers' aren't seeing it because they wanna see a bunch of actors flapping their lips... WE WANNA SEE BIG ROBOTS DUKING IT OUT! We wanna see laser blasts and explosions and crumbling buildings. No one is going to give a shit about the stupid fucking 'love story' you're ramming into it (which they are, of course, doing). Why does EVERY movie have to have a romance in it anyway? WE WANT ROBOTS, DAMMIT! I gotta look at PEOPLE every frigging day... when I go to my big, dumb, fighting-robot-movie, that is exactly what I want to see... no more, no less.
What if they jammed a space battle in the middle of 'When Harry Met Sally'? Everyone would say "What the hell was THAT?" Y'know why? Because a space battle has no place in a gooey romantic comedy. SO WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GOTTA JAM THESE STOOPID LOVE STORIES IN MY BIG, DUMB SCI-FI THRILLERS? Didn't any of these idiots learn ANYTHING from the horrible American remake of 'Godzilla'?
There were two major reasons as far as I can tell that 'Godzilla' flopped as badly as it did:
1) It was jammed with so-called 'name' actors who were doing it entirely for the humungous paycheck.
and, most of all...
2) It had absolutely no loyalty to the source material.
Which seems to be the case with 'Transformers' as well... they seem intent on changing all the very core, key elements that have kept the franchise alive this whole time. Rather than merely give the characters slightly updated and film-friendly designs (as Sam Raimi did with 'Spider-Man') they've gone down this ultra-complex road that so many producers tread when they have no idea what their doing. "I don't know what a good robot design looks like, so I'll just make sure it's got lots and lots of really complicated stuff on it."
Two of the biggest and most successful movie franchises in the last several years were 'Spider-Man' and 'Lord of the Rings'... doesn't anyone in Hollywood bother to notice why those movies were so great? Do they think they were just multiple flukes? Argh.
Here's another gem from Lorenzo on whether or not they'll cast the original voice actors from the TV show: "Some of these guys are TV cartoon guys. I want to get better characters if we can."
Ah - of course... another brilliant bit of producing. "TV cartoon = bad... high-priced bigshot movie actor = good"... never mind the fact that, once again, you're writing off one of the elements that made these characters popular as insignificant.
Double Argh.
Anyway, the ONE good thing they've done is hire Peter Cullen to do the voice of Optimus Prime... Cullen was the original voice actor on the 'Transformers' animated TV show and animated movie. No one else can do Prime as far as I'm concerned. Now if they REALLY want to take another bold step in the right direction, they'll hire Frank Welker to return as Megatron.
The bottom line here is that everyone involved with this film seems to have an agenda of making it as distant from the source material as they possibly can. They seem to be trying really hard to fight the fact that this is supposed to be a big, dumb, fun, geeky science fiction story with big fighting robots.
The tragedy is, there are probably countless hungry, young producers, directors and actors out there who would have embraced it with open arms and done an amazing job for half the money - but, no, the Hollywood machine is ever-insistant that it's not broken when, in fact, it's belching smoke, leaking oil, low on gas and dragging a rusty muffler behind it.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

WHY TRANSFORMERS ARE COOL - part 1 of 500


THE TRANSFORMERS CULT: My Review of the 20th Anniversary Special Edition DVD
In the past couple of years it seems as though all of the animated feature films to come out of America are indistinguishable from one another.
Recently, however, THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE 20th ANNIVERSARY EDITION was released on DVD and I was reminded of what it was like to go to an animated movie and actually be surprised, shocked, entertained and exillherated by it.
When the movie first came out 1986, I was sixteen years old and had basically grown out of collecting toys (since then, of course, I've grown back into it all over again), but I still loved cartoons.
While most kids my age would spend their after-school time playing sports or hanging out at the mall, I would indulge in my guilty pleasure of rushing to my TV for the block of VOLTRON, THUNDERCATS and TRANSFORMERS shows.
Nowadays, science fiction fans have a million different ways to get their daily 'fix' from television... but when I was in high school, the only real sci-fi available was in the form of TV cartoons. Consequently, I had found myself deeply invested in the TRANSFORMERS mythos and followed it religiously.
Back then, Disney was the only company with any real focus on animated features, and - for the most part - their stories were skewed very young and followed the same basic types of storylines... in other words, cartoon movies were in a similar slump that they're in now... lots of 'sameness'. THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE, however, was incredibly complex and groundbreaking for its time.
The plot was obvious of course... it chronicled the war between two factions of robotic life from the planet Cybertron - the noble Autobots and the evil Decepticons... however, in the movie, a new danger - a monsterous, roaming robotic planet that devours everything in its path - threatens to destroy Cybertron. In their efforts to save their world, Autobots and Decepticons alike are forced to face some harsh realities, go through painful changes and make new alliances.
Oftentimes when animators discuss the greatest animated films of all time, TRANSFORMERS is overlooked for its obvious and - yes - blatant tie-in to the toys... but to me, its commercialization is just another sign of its brilliant execution: Sunbow and Marvel productions were given the task of wiping out the first generation of TRANSFORMERS characters to make way for a whole new toy line... it would have been very easy for them to simply hack out a cheap simpleminded tale with little or no regard to the characters or story arc... but they didn't. They injected real emotion and conflict into the plot and used the idea of going from one toy line to another as a way of making a statement about sacrifice, loss, maturity, growth, friendship and unity.
The original cast from the television series stayed true to their characters and - in a shocking twist for an American animated feature - died fighting for their cause. Optimus Prime - the leader of the brave Autobots - maintained his staunch, John Wayne-like heroism up until his death at the hands of Megatron - the malevolent Decepticon tyrant. Seeing the two of them fight to the end was precicely what we fans of the TV show had waited for, but we never could have dreamed that the bad guy would actually win the fight! We were used to movies showing us that good always triumphed over evil - but this movie showed us that oftentimes in life, the villain wins. Despite the existence of an all-powerful corporate agenda, the filmmakers worked within those boundaries and created an epic science fiction masterpiece that has endured the test of time.
Japanese anime features rarely made it to American theaters, so even though I was aware of anime, I had never seen anything with an anime style on a big movie screen before. For many Americans, the TRANSFORMERS movie was their first exposure to a feature with an anime-sensibility.
In its original release, the TRANSFORMERS movie didn't make a lot of money... but it has enjoyed a 'cult status' and gained popularity more and more with every passing year since then.
One of the many reasons I've always enjoyed it was because it never 'dumbed down' to the audience: the characters spoke like adults... the relationships between them were often complex and riddled with sub-plots... they carried and used dangerous-looking weaponry... they acted like soldiers and used military jargon. Nowadays, all American cartoon characters speak like a nine-year old surfer kid with a nonstop barrage of "whoah" and "dude"... they never get mad at one another or display any real personality... The weapons carried in cartoons these days look like gummi bears... once an action show has been filtered through the American "political-correctness machine" it becomes so sanitized that it lacks any real drama or excitement. So, for me, the TRANSFORMERS movie represents the last real hurrah for animated action shows in the U.S. Oh, sure, every now and then you get something exceptional like 'Batman' or 'Justice League', but even those shows struggle with the increasingly stringent rules for broadcast standards.
The DVD itself includes multiple commentary tracks - one of which includes producer/director Nelson Shin - as well as interviews, trivia, commercials (U.S. and Japanese) for the movies and toy lines, some quick deleted scenes and test footage. I watched everything on the two-disc set which, ultimately, meant watching the movie from beginning to end five times in a row, and each time I enjoyed it and appreciated it more.
In summer of 2007, a live-action big-budget adaptation of the Transformers will hit screens courtesy of Steven Speilberg... based on everything I know about it (which is almost nothing) I have no idea whether it's going to be any good or not.
But if you've grown weary of the seemingly endless parade of films that feature big groups of CGI animated prancing animals, I highly recommend you join myself and the rest of the loyal cultists who revere THE TRANSFORMERS MOVIE. It's a lot of fun, and you're not even required to shave your head.