Don't you people EVER shut up?
I don't mean YOU people... you people are obviously solid citizens because you're reading my blog.
I mean the people who NEVER shut up.
In the apartment complex I call "home" it seems as though there are always people standing outside my window yammering it up at 3 AM. I'm not just talking about on weekends, either... I'm slightly more forgiving of that... but it'll be 3:37 AM on a Tuesday and there will be two, drunken, fratboy chuckleheads whooping it up outside.
The way this complex is laid out, it has several concrete 'courtyards' all of which may as well have 'Marshall' stamped on them because they amplify sound to the point where if a cockroach takes a dump, I can tell what he had for dinner by its impact onto the ground.
Tonight, by the way, it was "Koo Koo Roo" chicken wings and human snot.
But I digress...
You can well imagine that if the sounds of cockroach crap are hear-able (yes... 'hear-able'... it's 4:21 AM on a Wednesday and I feel like death, so just deal with it) then you can just imagine how chrystal clear every "DUDE!" from fratboy conversation echoes through the cul-de-sacs...
The thing I don't get is: WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS HOUR ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? DON'T YOU HAVE JOBS? AREN'T YOU TIRED?
My apartment complex is NOT cheap... HOW DO THEY PAY THEIR RENT??? I direct cartoons for Disney and I barely get by every month... how do they DO it???
And trust me, these are not blue-collar joes trying to put food on the table for their salt-of-the-earth families by taking a night-shift... these are pink, healthy, manicured young folk who obviously live off of some sort of new-money parental trust-fund.
Anyway, I'm thinking of becoming a 'noise vigilante' who dresses like Batman at night and runs around abducting these types and locking them in a Dodge Stratus with "Convoy" playing on a continuous loop with the volume at full blast and letting them rot there until the car battery runs out.
Okay, not really, but it's fun to dream...
5 comments:
Okay, I understand your angst but I want to be one of those people living off of some fabulous parental trust fund.
didn't koo-koo-roo close down? how about Popeyes?
Hey, who DOESN'T want to live off of someone else's money?
I would just like to think that if I did, I would have the courtesy to keep my voice down while people who work for a living are trying to sleep...
If Koo Koo Roo is closed I'm gonna be bummed. I dug their roast chicken!
Regardless, the analogy still stands because as we all know, cockroach feces can take YEARS to digest...
Yes, please do so, those types of people never appreciate that fact that they live in a nice place and life has been good too them. You would really be restoring the balance of the universe. While they are rotting in the back of a stratus. A deserving family or a couple just stating out can live there.
A mere couple of days after making this post I was awoken at 1 AM (Tuesday morning) by my idiotic neighbors screaming out their moronic 'Oscar party' stories.
Is everyone just oblivious to the most basic rules of polite society?
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