This is a caricature of me'n'Leigh I drew on the back of the vomit bag during our flight from NY to LA.
Oy and quadruple OY... where do I begin?
Okay, so our trip to Kalamazoo was an absolute delight - everything went great. But once we set down in NY, it was a slow descent into the depths of hell for me'n'Leigh...
I honestly don't know where to begin... I may have Leigh put it into writing since she's better at telling the whole story than I am - but here's a condensed version:
Soon after arriving, the stress of Leigh's job (she was there for a work-related event that she was coordinating... I was tagging along) caused her to get bleforitis (or something) which is basically and INFECTION OF THE EYES causing them both to swell up like an alien egg-sac with pus and gunk.
So she winds up having to go see a doctor and gets put on this complex regiment of antibiotics and eyedrops, etc. etc. etc. Meanwhile, she has to keep working.
About a day later, I start feeling sick yet AGAIN (those of you who follow this blog may recall that this is now my THIRD time being sick in the past 2 months).
Just as her eyes are clearing up, my temperature starts to rise, I have these incredibly painful coughing fits, and I'm soaked with a cold sweat.
Before you know it, my temperature reaches a whopping 103.1... generally one would be hospitalized with a temp this high, but I refused seeing as how I knew that going to the hospital and sitting in a waiting room for ten hours would just make matters worse. Leigh's doctor diagnoses that I basically have a sinus infection that was on the verge of becoming pneumonia.
Leigh, with her network of connections, got me on antibiotics right away, but the fever was slow in breaking and I was delirious and miserable.
As my days of suffering go by, I start to improve slightly each day... then Leigh almost gets mugged by some random attacker in the middle of the day on the streets of NY. Fortunately, Leigh is tough as nails and warded him off heroically (again, I'll save the details for later).
Then SHE starts showing symptoms of the same horrible infections I had.
So by Monday, when we fly home, we're both in utter misery... we get to LA and the airline (YOU SUCK, UNITED!!!!) can't seem to figure out how to open the door to the luggage compartment, so we have to sit and wait in the airport for another hour and a half while they try to figure out the complex mechanics of opening a door. We're both sweating, tired, drugged-up, sniffling, sneezing, hacking and dripping mucas.
After we finally get our stuff, we run out to a cab - relieved to finally be closer to home and anxious to beat rush-hour traffic - and tell the guy to take us to Burbank. He replies "Where is that?" THIS IS AN LAX CAB DRIVER AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE BURBANK IS!!!
So he drives around in circles for about 45 minutes until he finally figures out where the freeway onramp is. He then proceeds to take us (inexplicably) to Hollywood (this was after he had consulted his Thomas Guide and - we thought - figured out how to get to Burbank). We yell at him and direct him through surface roads to get us back home. The cab ride was over $100.
Again, this is a VERY abbreviated account of our trip, but in a nutshell: IT ALL SUCKED!
L.A. CABDRIVERS SUCK! UNITED ARILINES SUCKS! FLU VIRUSES SUCK!
4 comments:
Hey, don't bring your Ebola back to the West Coast! I'm calling the CDC.
By the way thanks for the shout out on the BG down below. What's happening in April?
-Harooree
oh you poor things, I hope you both will be cootie free and healthy soon
I have nothing to add, but would just like to clearly define Blepharitis. Blepharitis is an inflammation of the eyelids often induced by stress and related to Psoriasis, (also induced by stress). Both are characterized by flaking, scaling, burning and itching eyelids and scalp respectively. They usually afflict old people, but like my wonderful fiance, we both get old people diseases now, while we're young, which of course makes me wonder what we've got to look forward to.
The eye infection was a separate demon, and I don't even think I had one. I think the outrageously expensive ophthamologists and dematologists I spent 6 hours with and lost $715 to were wrong about the eye infection. I think I've got allergic conjunctivitis, which is why it never goes away. I should've been a doctor. Maybe then I'd actually make some money...
But that's another rant.
Blepharitis sucks ass. It's an old-person's affliction, which I have at the ripe old age of 29. Yet another wonderful thing my adorable finance and I have in-common. We get old peoples' problems in our youth. Wonder what we have to look forward to!
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