Leigh informs me that it's been a long time since I posted. She is, of course, correct... it's been a while. Last time I posted I was in Canada. I'm back now - only to realize that I LIVE IN FRIGGING HELL!
I don't mean that the city of L.A. itself is 'evil' (not necessarily, anyway... that's another post altogether)... I mean that it is RIDICULOUSLY HOT HERE!!!
Yesterday it was over 105 degrees... today it was 101 and you know what? I actually FELT the difference... I was 'relieved' by the 'cooler' 101 temperature! When you're relieved that it's 'only 101 degrees', that's when you know you live in HELL!
It's been so hot I've been too lazy to scan or post any drawings - so all of you folks who come here just to rag on how shitty my art is (bless your hearts), I'm sorry... I'll put up something another time. It's just too hot to scan.
I've got the central air conditioning (proof that technology is the gift of a benevolent creator) cranked as high as it will go (the shock may kill Leigh when she comes home tonight, but Otto and I need our comfort) and I'm still sweating.
At the risk of getting too graphic, I'm sweating the most in some rather unwholesome places. I had to go to the bank today, and that meant walking across a parking lot where there was no shade... this trek alone caused me to end up looking like a man who'd pissed himself. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but there it is - it was that hot (moments like this serve to remind me that I am an unfortunately constructed human... my so-called physical structure may be entirely appropriate for some other planet's environment, but not this one's... this is, of course, why I wear black all the time: to hide the fact that I am, in all likelihood, not of this Earth).
But I digress... (man I love saying that)
So - speaking of the way people dress and how much everyone sucks - I'm walking down the street trying to get home as rapidly as possible (while still using as little of my own energy as possible) when I spot some douchebag dressed from head to toe in LEATHER BIKER GEAR! I SHIT YOU NOT!
Now, I can hear you saying "John, you suck"... and you're right... but those of you with more intelligent things to say are saying, "But John... what if he IS a biker... they NEED leather gear to protect them!" That would be an extremely legitimate argument if it weren't for one tiny fact: HE WAS WAITING AT THE BUS STOP!
Now, in spite of what you may think of me by now, I'm a very 'live and let live' kinda guy... you can dress however you want... oh, sure, I'll make fun of you (I'm looking in YOUR direction, hiphop gangstas!) but ultimately I don't care how anyone else dresses... but when you're decked out from toes to top in all leather biker gear when it's a quadrillion degrees in the shade (two quadrillion in the sun) and you're getting on a bus, that means to me that you are going to be filling up that bus (already an unpleasant place) with the sum whole of your body odors. It's just not right. I hate how I look in shorts too, but on days like today, ya just gotta bite that bullet and dress for the weather.
(by the way, this is as good a time as any to tell the kids who wear stocking caps and thick coats on days like today how stupid they look as well... hey... you kids... you look really stupid. There... I said it and I'm glad)
Anyway, now that I've rambled for what seems like an eternity, I'm faced with the fact that I just spent an entire blog post commenting on the weather... it's a blog-version of 'small-talk'. Oh well. It's all you get. Deal with it.
I guess my point is: it's really hot.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
While this would normally be "small talk" I think this is an exception to the rule considering it's the fucking hottest summer I have ever lived through and thus - it's worth noting.
In fact, as you know, it's one of the many reasons I am starting to despise Los Angeles.
I grew up in the Valley and it was NEVER this hot for SO FUCKING LONG.
And, given the way things seem to be going, we've got two more months of this bullshit.
I hate it. I'm a cold weather person.
I also hate traffic - and we've got too much of that here too.
Time to seriously contemplate leaving.
Maybe that guy was an actor douchebag going for a tryout or whatever you call 'em.
Do you own your own house? I hear that's a bitch out there.
How come this relevant topic only warrants 5 lousy comments when your moose received over 50? Anyway, I told my dad and husband, both of whom love riding motorcycles, about the fully decked out guy at the BUS STOP! We all had quite a laugh about that. You could always move to CO, the best state in the union, and enjoy not only the greatest weather (no humidity and no bugs!) but our fantasic company as well. But then you'd have to either work at Focus on the Family or starve. Either way, we are into publishing or animation out here. Sorry, we'll go on enjoying paradise without you. But it just isn't the same....
Sorry, I'm tired. I meant to say that we AREN'T into publishing or animation our here. Going to bed now.
heat is such a stinky assbastard! it is SO MUCH harder to cool down than it is to warm up. legend tells me that eating spicey food and drinking tea and crap is supposed to cool you dont because of body temperature something.
i wish we could all just be naked on hot days
is eddie auditioning for freelance work here? give it a rest, numnuts.
Please send us e-mail.
Post a Comment