OSCAR MADNESS

Ah, the Oscars... the big night where Hollwyood gathers together to collectively pat itself on the back for mastering the fine art of 'pretending on film'...

But I kid Hollywood...

I LOVE movies, I just hate the movie industry. Or something. I dunno. I guess that's kind of hypocritical. Oh well.

I thought John Stewart did a good job, but I've always dug him.

Frankly, though, in the past decade I thought the two best hosts were Steve Martin and David Letterman.

The good news is, "Wallace and Grommit" got the award for best animated feature... how come the media always makes such a big deal about how 'CGI is replacing traditional animation' and yet I didn't see ANY stories about the fact that this year there were NO CGI nominees and TWO of the THREE nominees were STOP-MOTION animation???

I'm really tired of the 'animated characters' giving out awards, too... they have live-action directors give out awards... why not animation directors?

Oh, that's right... because we suck...

Anyway...

I liked Clooney's speech... he's a class act and oh-so easy on the eyes!

I'm glad "Crash" won because I liked it and it's the only one of the nominees that I actually saw. I eventually want to see ALL of them, but there are just too many good (and bad) horror and gore movies coming out these days - how am I supposed to find the time to go see "Brokeback Mountain" when "Hostel" and "Wolf Creek" beckon me and tempt my desire to see humans hunted for sport? (oh, c'mon... it's a joke... lighten up)

My biggest complain of the show was when the woman sang the song from Crash (I'm too busy and too lazy to look up names) and they had this incredibly gay 'broadway-style' production going on in the background of people pantomiming - what - the ills of race relations in our society? IN PANTOMIME?
During one of the closeups I saw one of the background dancers who was (or was portraying) a 'hispanic' character complete with greased back hair and hairnet. The rest of the background dancers were similarly stereotypical.
Wasn't the point (or one of them) of "Crash" that we are all our own best/worst stereotypes? And yet for their little Oscar number they might as well have had a Native American in full headdress 'whoo-whoo'-ing to complete their chorus line of stereotypes.

I've also read articles this year that praised Hollywood for producing movies of "substance" - unlike previous years with the horrid likes of "The Lord of the Rings" and "Spider-Man".

Hey, pretentious-art-school-dropout-entertainment-writers... I got yer 'substance' RIGHT HERE! (pointing at crotch for some reason).

Oh well... the only other upset for me was that "Revenge of the Sith" got no nominations - not even for music, effects or anything like that.

Funny, isn't it, how Star Wars has shaped our popular culture more than any other film in the past umpteen decades and yet somehow the Academy still manages to see no merit in them.

This is one of my worst, most incoherent blog entries to date. I'm really tired. I'm stopping now.