I'm Busy... Lay Off...

Look, there's about a million more important things I want to write about, but I'm just too damned busy (I'm working from home lately - which you'd think would make it easier to constantly futz around... but I'm busier than ever)... and I don't like writing about stuff without putting a drawing with it but I just don't have time to whip up something special. So, in the interest of killing time and blog-space, I'm just putting up another watercolor. I never intended for this blog to be a 'showcase' for my work, but it's a great thing to fall back on.

I figured since the moose painting caused such a massive controversy, surely this Yak will shake the very foundations of the internet and spark a violent revolution.

Anyone who wants to hear me talk about all the things I hate about my so-called 'artistic abilities' need only ask and I'm prone to go on and on about how amaturish I am. That's no secret. But people who kvetch too much about their shortcomings oftentimes wind up just sounding like they want sympathy or praise - and I don't need (or want) either.

All I can say about my watercolors is that they were fun to make.

All I can say about my 'style' in general is that - for all of its flaws - it's mine.

It's nothing so special that it's going to change the world... and, sure, I have influences... everyone does... I'm as guilty as anyone of copying (note the similarity between my Yak and the ones from the 'Kilted Yaksmen' episode of 'Ren and Stimpy')... but if I suck, one of the reasons I suck is because my influences are so varied. Maybe I should have been one of those guys to just endlessly copy artwork from 40's Jazz ablum covers... maybe I should have just endlessly copied the anime style... maybe I should have cone to CalArts... I love all of those styles, and I'd probably be more successful if I'd just picked one and stuck to it. But, hey, here we are with my quick-n-dirty watercolors... and I like 'em.

Those who really know me are aware that I'm wide open to advice, critiques, etc. And those who want to use this as an excuse to tell me how much I suck are an endless source of amusement as well - so all comments are welcome!

So - here's a Yak. Enjoy it or enjoy hating it.

WE LIVE IN HELL: Why do the demons dress like idiots?

Leigh informs me that it's been a long time since I posted. She is, of course, correct... it's been a while. Last time I posted I was in Canada. I'm back now - only to realize that I LIVE IN FRIGGING HELL!
I don't mean that the city of L.A. itself is 'evil' (not necessarily, anyway... that's another post altogether)... I mean that it is RIDICULOUSLY HOT HERE!!!
Yesterday it was over 105 degrees... today it was 101 and you know what? I actually FELT the difference... I was 'relieved' by the 'cooler' 101 temperature! When you're relieved that it's 'only 101 degrees', that's when you know you live in HELL!
It's been so hot I've been too lazy to scan or post any drawings - so all of you folks who come here just to rag on how shitty my art is (bless your hearts), I'm sorry... I'll put up something another time. It's just too hot to scan.
I've got the central air conditioning (proof that technology is the gift of a benevolent creator) cranked as high as it will go (the shock may kill Leigh when she comes home tonight, but Otto and I need our comfort) and I'm still sweating.
At the risk of getting too graphic, I'm sweating the most in some rather unwholesome places. I had to go to the bank today, and that meant walking across a parking lot where there was no shade... this trek alone caused me to end up looking like a man who'd pissed himself. I'm sorry for being so blunt, but there it is - it was that hot (moments like this serve to remind me that I am an unfortunately constructed human... my so-called physical structure may be entirely appropriate for some other planet's environment, but not this one's... this is, of course, why I wear black all the time: to hide the fact that I am, in all likelihood, not of this Earth).
But I digress... (man I love saying that)
So - speaking of the way people dress and how much everyone sucks - I'm walking down the street trying to get home as rapidly as possible (while still using as little of my own energy as possible) when I spot some douchebag dressed from head to toe in LEATHER BIKER GEAR! I SHIT YOU NOT!
Now, I can hear you saying "John, you suck"... and you're right... but those of you with more intelligent things to say are saying, "But John... what if he IS a biker... they NEED leather gear to protect them!" That would be an extremely legitimate argument if it weren't for one tiny fact: HE WAS WAITING AT THE BUS STOP!
Now, in spite of what you may think of me by now, I'm a very 'live and let live' kinda guy... you can dress however you want... oh, sure, I'll make fun of you (I'm looking in YOUR direction, hiphop gangstas!) but ultimately I don't care how anyone else dresses... but when you're decked out from toes to top in all leather biker gear when it's a quadrillion degrees in the shade (two quadrillion in the sun) and you're getting on a bus, that means to me that you are going to be filling up that bus (already an unpleasant place) with the sum whole of your body odors. It's just not right. I hate how I look in shorts too, but on days like today, ya just gotta bite that bullet and dress for the weather.
(by the way, this is as good a time as any to tell the kids who wear stocking caps and thick coats on days like today how stupid they look as well... hey... you kids... you look really stupid. There... I said it and I'm glad)
Anyway, now that I've rambled for what seems like an eternity, I'm faced with the fact that I just spent an entire blog post commenting on the weather... it's a blog-version of 'small-talk'. Oh well. It's all you get. Deal with it.
I guess my point is: it's really hot.

I'M IN CANADA

And, thus, here is a moose.

FAN ART - THUNDERCATS

I don't often like to do the whole 'fan art' thing, but I see others having fun with it so I decided to jump on that bandwagon.
These are some drawings of my three favorite 'Thundercats' characters (Panthro was my top favorite) filtered through my own sensibilities.
Love 'em... hate 'em... THUNDERCATS... HO!

HIP-POP and GANGSTA-PAP

Okay, I know I've talked about this before, so if you're bored by it then I'm really, really sorry... except that I'm actually not sorry at all. This topic deserves multiple-posts.
At the risk of catching all sorts of hell from anyone under the age of 55, I'm just really sick of hiphop and gangsta-rap's OMNIPRESENCE in the world right now.
This is not to say I hate the genres themselves (necessarily), but whatever merits they have are overwhelmed by the fact that you can't swing a dead cat without hitting something related to hiphop or gangsta-rap.
Walking down the street, I see nothing but children, teens and young adults decked out in their gangsta 'costumes'. And they ARE costumes. You might as well go trick-or-treating in you little outfits. I mean, unless you ACTUALLY sell drugs for a living and are ACTUALLY a member of the Crips you kind of open yourself up to ridicule.
It's every bit as silly as a Burger King manager walking around dressed as an astronaut.
And if you actually ARE a gansta, I've always wondered why it is you would ADVERTISE it so blatantly? I mean, wouldn't a smart criminal try to blend in with everyone else? You might as well just wave a huge flag saying "HEY POLICE! I SELL CRANK! WATCH MY EVERY MOVE AND THEN BUST ME WHEN I MAKE A SALE!"
Oh that's right... you need to dress 'tough' to command 'respect'... but - again - if the idea is to be lethal to your enemies, wouldn't it be better off to dress like a schlub and then when someone kicks up shit you really shock the hell out of them by kicking their ass? I dunno... maybe logic just has no place in the gansta culture...
But I digress...
Every billboard shows groups of multicultured kids bopping around in their baggy jeans and twisted ballcaps... every store has piped in 'R Kelly' music... every TV commercial features watered-down versions of hiphop/rap videos...
Every couple of months or so, some new movie comes ("Bring it On" etc.) out that's basically a lot of really heavily made-up naked girls prancing around with a lot of heavily-oiled male-models pretending that in spite of their perfectly groomed facial hair and dance moves that they are, contrary to all evidence, straight. Oh - and then they dance around in some primitive 'me better than you' pseudo-competition. Argh.
Die-hard fanatics of this junk will defend it by saying "Hey! Rap and Hip-Hop are offshoots of jazz, blues and R&B!" Okay... but... SO WHAT?
Again, I understand why people like jazz, blues and R&B, but I don't understand the REVERENCE towards it... tell someone that you're not into blues music and watch them look at you like you're a scumbag. "THE BLUES WERE THE PRECURSOR TO ROCK AND ROLL!!!" Okay... but the Ox-Cart was the precursor to the automobile... does that mean I should revere Ox-Carts and own several of them?
Part of the reason I'm so annoyed with this trend is BECAUSE I actually like some of the music/art/culture from these genres... but when it becomes so utterly ubiquitous as to be relentlessly saturrated, the geres themselves lose their appeal.
The same thing has happened at various times through history with punk rock, metal, disco, country, etc. And believe me, I'm just as annoyed when I see guys who are accountants during the week and then dress like cowboys or Hell's Angels on the weekends.
I guess it all boils down to people wanting to feel as though they are part of some 'group' that will make them feel all safe and warm. I just don't get that. I know it's all just another dopey trend just like anything else... I mean, let's face it... hiphop IS the new 'pop music'. But c'mon already... enough...
One of the great things about art and culture is that it's filled with VARIETY... it's all out there... it's not even that hard to seek out. Why LIMIT yourself to ONE kind of music or style? What's to be gained?
Simple-minded folk will accuse me of having these opinions because I'm a midwestern white guy... and maybe that DOES have something to do with it... but what I can say in all honesty is that I DO like rap, hiphop, R&B, blues and jazz as a part of the variety... but, just as I'd hate to have to eat one type of food for the rest of my life, I can't see the appeal of only listening to one type of music.
And just because I like sushi doesn't mean I walk out of the house dressed like a friggin' geisha.

INSOMNIA

Restlessness is a semifrequent problem for me... shutting my brain down when I go to bed at night is an incredibly involved and ritualistic process.
Like many people, I enjoy reading before going to sleep... what's demented about me, however, is that I only read things that I've already read before.
Recently I read the same book (Mike Nelson's 'Mind over Matters') twice in a row... now I'm back into my usual rotation.
The thing is, if I start reading something NEW, my brain gets too excited about what happens next and I can't stop reading... I'll keep reading until I'm up for 3 days straight and finish the book.
The only time I really get any NEW reading done is when I'm sick and have an excuse to stay in bed all day.
Suffice it to say, there are about a quadrillion books piled up in my house that I have every intention of reading, but they're sitting around waiting for me to get hit with some sort of horrid virus.
Anyway...
Sometimes even reading won't put me to sleep - or I'll wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to fall back asleep. On those occasions, I have an arsenal of little psychological meditations I practice in order to fall back asleep... for instance, I'll close my eyes and literally 'meditate' - that is - concentrate on NOT concentrating and letting my consciousness 'expand'. I know it sounds like nonsense, but it's trickier than it sounds... I used to be really good at it when it was part of the 'cool down' to my excercize routine. I'd sit and meditate for ten minutes, and when I would stop I would feel fantastic, refreshed and sometimes it would feel as though I just took a 3 hour nap.
One of my less complicated 'get back to sleep' tricks is I'll close my eyes and pretend that I'm out camping - this is a little more obvious because I find being in the woods to be very relaxing.
Lately, however, I've stumbled on a NEW little 'scenario' to help myself sleep that I'm afraid seems somewhat demented (so naturally I feel the need to talk about it here): I pretend I'm in a hospital.
Obviously the reasons for being there are very nonspecific but most certainly not at all serious. But think about it... hospital stays are one of the few times in life when nobody really expects anything of you and you can truly just relax.
Yeah... I know... I'm really weird.
Anyway... that's it, really... feel free to comment on how twisted I am.
Oh yeah, yesterday was my 36th birthday.
By the way, the coloring on the above illustration was done by Holly Kim... it was done as concept art for 'Nightmare Hunters'.

COMIC-CON MEMORIES

Okay, so these are long overdue and in retrospect not even all that interesting... this year's convention wound up being an odd affair (for reasons that will be apparent if you keep reading). I had a good time, but not nearly as much as I used to.
I got worn out really quickly and - pretty much from day one - found myself wanting to be back home with Leigh and Otto. MOST of my time there was spent doing work-related stuff... and when I wasn't engulfed in career stuff, I was drowning in the crowd. It really has just gotten way too big for my tastes.
I guess I've just kinda turned into a homebody... but - fortunately - I was there to help promote the premier of 'Yin Yang Yo!' for Disney, and when you're with 'The Mouse' it makes it really easy to navigate the rocky terrain of the comics convention. If I couldn't go in under the umbrella of 'professional', I'd never go anywhere near it.
Anyway... here are my Comic-Con 2006 sketches. They are what they are.


Just a little practical advice for future attendees...
The drive from L.A. is generally about 2 hours, and I - shockingly - made great time this year. Of course, that MAY have had something to do with the fact that I hit the road by 9AM (the convention wouldn't even be open util 6PM).
Fortunately, even though I showed up early to my hotel - which had a great view of the ocean and aircraft carriers - they let me check in early (THANK YOU, DISNEY!) and plop my stuff in my room allowing me to jam on over to the convention center a full two hours before my passes would become available. I was the first in line.


'Preview Night' was started last year as a way for professionals and the truly hardcore to show up before the rest of the mobs... but preview night was just as jammed as the regular convention.
Thank god for my PSP that's all I gotta say. I waited in line for over an hour - but I had "Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories" to keep me company.
Usually you can count on people in the 'professionals' lines to be a little less weird and a little more civilized than the comics fans themselves, and yet there was some gray-haired older dude screeching and stamping his feet with rage like a friggin' crybaby because he had to stand in line.
I mean, I'm as annoyed by lines and waiting as much as the next guy, but c'mon... this was a grown man - presumably a professional - and he was literally throwing a temper tantrum.
By the time I got back to my hotel (which was ridiculously far from the convention - THANKS, DISNEY! - I was sweaty, exhausted, smelly and starved.
Fortunately, Leigh's care package kept me energized (and fat).


I always bump into Louie and Julie DelCarmen at Comic Con (see his site - Random Anomalies - for a much better post-con wrapup). This time it was easy, though, 'cause Louie had not one but TWO books for sale at his very own booth. I did this superfast sketch of he and Julie as they sat at their table. Both of Louie's books are brilliant. Buy them by the gross.
Louie's new book was the only thing I purchased on my first day at the convention. This was a precursor to what would be a slim buying year for me.


I use the name 'Chris' because I'm not sure if he'd want me to use his real name... anyway, for those of you who know me, it's probably not who you think it is.
Anyway...
'Chris' passed on some very upsetting information to me. I don't go into details, but it was just another reason this year's convention was an emotional roller-coaster ride.

HEY BIG SPENDER!
Yep... that's me...
Most of what tickled my fancy this year came in the form of dollar-bin stuff like this... but I gotta say, I feel like I struck gold. The 'Super Goof' comic was honestly a very charming read (and NOT in an ironic way... IRONY CAN KISS MY ASS!!! I'M SICK OF IRONY!!!)... the 'Seymore My Son' - which was really just a lot of haiku-like stories about a father with a teenage son with lots of kinda lame, typical "Oh-These-Kids-Today"-style jokes - had the appeal of obviously being illustrated by Dan DeCarlo - one of my favorite comic book artists (best known for his work on 'Archie' books)... and 'The Witching Hour' was typically weird 70's fare, but I remember being scared to death of the covers of these books when I was a little kid, so it was fun to read this now that I'm all old and cynical and stuff. The psuedo-perverted cover was a fun find as well. And, hey, it was a buck.
The fact that this year I probably spent about a total of twenty-five ACTUAL dollars on ACTUAL comics (I usually spend over a grand) at the convention is a sign of how disappointed I was with it.
I usually drop the majority on my dough in 'artists alley' (mostly handmade mini-comics) and the small-press area... but this year - I dunno - it was just a lot of 'sameness' in both places.
It's not that there wasn't anything 'good'... there was... but there were no real 'must haves' (apart from Louie's books). Does anyone think about - I dunno - entertaining their audience any more? I mean, I'm all for 'Art for Art's sake', but if you really want my money, I'm sorry... call me another dumb, fat, American slob... but I like my comics to be entertaining.
That doesn't mean they have to be 'commercially entertaining', but gimme SOMETHING to latch onto.
It seemed as though all of the small press and independant stuff was either so UTTERLY void of originality (how many more superhero parodies can there be?) or so UTTERLY inaccessibly abstract (I guess the ravens symbolize your inner pain... or they're easy to draw...?) or UTTERLY without content at all (okay, enough sketchbooks filled with your lifedrawings from your first year at art school) that I just found myself saying "I don't need this" a lot.


Yep... this was how day 3 began. Kinda put everything in perspective and suddenly Comic-Con seemed even MORE silly than it usually does.
I couldn't possibly have made it home in time for the funeral, which just frustrated me... I wasn't particularly close to my grandma, but I wanted to be there for my dad.


This was the view of dudes I ate dinner with that night. This was my first real day of doing lots of promo stuff for YYY, so I was dressed semi-formally and, of course, decked out entirely in black... so I was a sticky, sweaty mess by this time.
The food at this place was great, though... it's one of those Brazillian places where they just continuously bring skewer after skewer of dead animal flesh - freshly grilled - to your table and you devour it like a carnasaur. My kinda restaurant!


This was where everything really deteriorated. These idiots showed up after I had tucked my little head into bed and was in a blissfully deep sleep (I let them all crash in my hotel because I'm just really great like that) and, naturally, their arrival meant we had to all get up and go to the hotel bar for shots and talk about 'Spider-Man'. It was great.
From here on out everything was a blur of doing autograph signings at the YYY booth and panels and screenings and meetings and interviews etc. etc. etc.
My most heartwarming thanks to everyone who came to the panel as well as everyone who stopped by the booth.


Speaking of booths, MAD props (as the kids say) to Ira, Albert and Raphael for not only selling a ton of 'Hot Mexican Love Comics' (go to www.hotmexicanlovecomics.com) but for scoring a distribution deal with Diamond Press! This means - before you know it - the anthology (with a story by me'n'Leigh) will be available across the nation and around the world!
I really must give HUGE credit to Ira who did such a bang-up job composing, editing and marketing this book.
In the photo, that's Ira and Raphael and the sad-looking dope in the back is me.


This little guy represents everything that's still good and pure about Comic-Con.

YEAH, I KNOW...

Undoubtedly you're all wondering where my brilliant commentary on Comic-Con is... IT'S COMING, OKAY?!?! IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK!!! I ACTUALLY WORK FOR A LIVING, Y'KNOW! SO ALL OF YOU JUST CHILL OUT ALREADY!!!

*whew*

Seriously, though, I do have several pages of sketchbooks coming... I'll try to get them posted sometime this weekend.

If you want a truly in-depth look at ComiCon, go to Louie's site (as linked over to yonder right). His site's better anyway.

Why are you even here? Hell, why am I even here...

In the meantime, go to:

http://tv.disney.go.com/jetix/video/index.html

It has an episode of 'Yin Yang Yo!' that was written and directed by me. Enjoy!

THE HERO OF COMICON

COMIC-CON PLUGS A-PLENTY

I'm going to try REALLY hard to keep a detailed diary of my experiences at Comic-Con this year - drawings and photos - specifically for this blog... so if you're a student of anthropology, keep checking back for updates 'cause when it comes to observing the human animal in its most primitive state, nothin' beats Comic-Con!

On Friday, Bob Boyle - creator of Yin! Yang! Yo! - and myself will apparently be doing a drawing demonstration at the Jetix Booth in aisle 3823... I'm not sure what time we're doing it yet... no one's told me. Look here for updates between now and Tuesday.

From www.comic-con.org

Saturday, July 22nd
1:30-2:30 JETIX— Learn what's hot and new at JETIX! You'll get a chance to win exclusive Power Rangers Mystic Force props and a one-of-a-kind piece of signed comic book art for the new JETIX comedy Yin Yang Yo! Catch a sneak peek of Yin Yang Yo! with appearances by creative/executive producer Bob Boyle, co-executive producer/head writer Steve Marmel, and director John Fountain. Also preview the cool new shows Oban Star Racers, Jackie Chan Adventures, and Pucca, and get the inside story on JETIX's new shows with ABC Cable execs Mike Moon, Tracy McAndrew, and Jermaine Turner. Room 2

Also, Bob and myself will be doing drawings and signing stuff at the Jetix Booth in aisle 3823 after the above panel discussion. I'm also told we will be giving away prizes in the form of autographed stuff in case you're into that sort of thing... autographs notwithstanding (god I love that word), the prize is a special limited edition poster that's actually pretty cool. Ya gotta see it.

Also, be sure to hunt down, visit, and buy:

YIN! YANG! YO!

me (in the hat) and Steve Marmel (not in the hat)


It's PLUGGIN' time, folks... here's the press-release Disney put out about the show I've been working on for the past year:

BURBANK and PASADENA, July 10, 2006 . . . "Yin Yang Yo!," a new action/adventure/comedy series created, directed and executive produced by Bob Boyle ("The Fairly OddParents"); written and co-executive produced by comedian and animation veteran Steve Marmel ("The Fairly OddParents") and co-directed by John Fountain ("The Fairly OddParents"), will premiere in a Yin Yang Yoverthrow programming event on MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 (6:00 a.m.–12:00 midnight) taking over the Jetix block on Toon Disney. "Yin Yang Yo!" will air in half-hour installments every weeknight (7:30 p.m., ET/PT) during Jetix, it was announced today at the Television Critics Association press tour by Gary Marsh, President, Entertainment, Disney Channel Worldwide.
Marsh said, "Young viewers will be treated to imaginative characters, madcap adventures, physical comedy and great stories told from a truly unique point of view, a perfect fit for our Jetix block."
Geared towards kids 6-11 with cleverly written comedy and visually engaging anime, the series is produced utilizing Flash animation software. Beginning in September 2006, "Yin Yang Yo!" joins the Jetix schedules in Europe, Latin America and the U.S.
"Yin Yang Yo!" follows the antics of hyper-kinetic tween rabbits Yin and Yang who, when faced with the sometimes threatening and mostly idiotic forces of evil (including Carl the evil Cockroach Wizard who still lives with his mom), must temporarily put aside their sibling rivalry to learn the mystical martial art of Woo Foo, the energy that allows them to defeat enemies ten times stronger than themselves. They train under the guidance of Master Yo, an irritable old panda forced out of retirement to rebuild the lost art, two heroes at a time. Alas Yin and Yang's judgment most often misses the mark, always with hilarious consequences.
Beginning today, kids can log onto the Jetix website (www.jetix.tv) and watch a preview of series via the website's broadband player. Each week leading up to the September 4 on-air premiere, a new eleven-minute segment of the series will roll out online.


So that's the deal... if you go to the web-site you can see images from the show and watch the first episode 'Dojo Oh-No' which was storyboarded and directed by me... I'm especially proud of it because it was my first time directing anything using 'Flash' (an animation program). Lotsa folks in the animation industry are wary of Flash because a lot of shows produced with it wind up looking all flat and cheap, but I think this episode proves that - like all animation software - it's an effective tool if used properly.

But if you'd rather spend your time laughing at what an unfortunate-looking and foolish sort of guy I am, go to www.rabbittakeover.com and watch our little live-action promos which feature myself, Bob Boyle, Steve Marmel, my good pal Eric Trueheart and some of the other crew from the show.

Here's what I mean by 'unfortunate' and 'foolish':


For more laughs at my expense, go visit the Rabbit Takeover site and enjoy giving me nonstop crap about it.
Never let it be said that I don't go all out for my job...

ALSO...

As part of the promotional blitz, I will be doing several signings and a panel discussion (which will also include an episode screening) at the Jetix booth/panel at the San Diego ComiCon next week. (www.comic-con.org for details). So if you plan to be there, come by and say 'hi'. If you don't plan on being there... well... it's probably just as well. The ComiCon has gotten WAAAYYYYY too crowded in recent years.

Anyway...

A QUICK YET IMPORTANT MESSAGE

You're all probably still reading my review of 'Superman Returns' ('cause it's so long? Get it? HUH? GET IT?) but I wanted to take a moment to relay a very important message to the teenagers of the Los Angeles area - specifically the hellhole known as 'The Valley':
IT'S A HUNDRED MILLION DEGREES OUT! TAKE OFF THE SWEATSHIRTS, HOODIES AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY TAKE OFF THE @#$%^&*(!!!! STOCKING CAPS YOU 'TARDS! NO, SCRATCH THAT... A 'TARD IS SMART ENOUGH NOT TO DRESS LIKE IT'S WINTER IN THE FRIGGIN' SUMMERTIME!!! YOU'RE TEENAGERS! YOU SWEAT ENOUGH AS IT IS! I KNOW - I WAS THERE! I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE ALL TRYING REALLY HARD TO LOOK LIKE GANGSTA RAPPERS, BUT F'R CRYIN' OUT LOUD, GET RID OF THE LAYERS UPON LAYERS OF WHAT IS SURELY HORRID-SMELLING WINTER CLOTHING!!! YOU DON'T LOOK TOUGH, YOU LOOK INCREDIBLY DUMB!!! STOP IT! JUST! STOP! IT!
*whew* - thanks. Now get back to reading my review.

SUPERMAN RETURNS: My Review

Superman has always been my favorite comic book hero... partially for all of the obvious reasons - the great powers, etc. - but I also think it largely has to do with the fact that I, too, am a small-town boy at heart with aspirations that reach far and wide. I, too, am a cornball who believes in 'truth, justice and the American way' (yes, that's right - the AMERICAN way - chew on that politically-correct apologist sissies).
One of the reasons I love the original Richard Donner film is because he portrayed the character for what he really is - an overgrown boyscout - and made no bones about it.
And who can deny that Christopher Reeve embraced that role so profoundly that it basically removed any hope of him being recognized for any other performance (we'll call it the 'Mark Hamill' syndrome).

My point with all of this is that I go into a movie with the name 'Superman' attatched to it with a lot of lofty expectations - perhaps unrealistically lofty.

'Superman Returns' is a good movie. That's about all I can say right now. The character is treated with the same love and care as the originals and the homages to the Donner films are almost constant. Brandon Routh is fine, and Kevin Spacey is great. But there was just something missing...
My initial feeling is that SO much effort was put into capturing the magic of the original films (including a musical score lifted directly from the brilliant John Williams scores) that film itself was somewhat self-suffocating.

While Routh's acting was perfectly servicable, I didn't feel like he was given enough character-driven action to really bring Superman to life in this version.
Reeve's Superman had a sparkling sense of humor, a temper, and sometimes even a bit of an ego. Routh was clearly overburdened with meeting a gazillion different expectations, and it wound up making both Superman and Clark Kent seem like a cardboard cutout that the rest of the characters interacted with.

Meanwhile, this broad who played Lois Lane - whatzername - was basically irrelevant. I can say with all honesty that I have NEVER approved of her being cast as Lois, and I was 100% right. She's too damned young for one thing, and she's FAR too 'cutesy' to play a tuff dame like Lois. This actress, whom I'm sure might be good in other rolls but I'm too peeved with right now to even bother looking up her name, was far too 'Prime-Time WB sweeps-week eye-candy'.

Parkey Posey plays Lex Luthor's girlfriend in the film, and frankly I think she would have made a MUCH better Lois. I would actually be willing to bet the farm that Posey was Bryan Singer's first choice, but the studio suits probably pulled rank and said "NAH, YA GOTTA GET SOME HOT YOUNG LITTLE CHIPPY IN THERE!"

My other major problem with the movie is - as with many movies - the presence of a moppety-haired little kid. Lois' son Jason (I think every kid in every movie is named 'Jason') acts as a major plotpoint - I won't give away how, but suffice it to say: I hated it.

Having said all of that, the special effects were great - it was nice to see Superman fly and actually have it LOOK REAL. Its connections to the first two 'Superman' movies was enjoyable ('Returns' is considered a "loose sequel" to 'Superman II' taking place five years later).

Anyway, all in all I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda disappointed. I made the mistake of letting my hopes get too high.
As a workhorse to re-start the franchise, I'm sure it'll do fine... maybe if they make another one, I'll like it more. After all, I was equally disappointed by the first 'X-Men' film, but loved the second one. Maybe now that this one is out of the way, Singer, Routh and Warner Brothers in general can loosen their belts a little and let the characters breathe a little more in the next film.

Of course, they'd have to kill off that little kid's character - my... wouldn't THAT be interesting?

I'm anxious to hear YOUR thoughts... so... let the discussion begin!

I HATE BUREAUCRACY WITH ALL THE FLAMES OF HELL

My head is an absolute whirlwind of crap right now and ordinarily I'm pretty good at staying on top of things, but I really am feeling like every time I accomplish one task, twenty other tasks take its place - so I subconsciously wind up feeling like I'm just better off not tackling ANY of my little chores, 'cause then 'they' can't pile more on me (whoever 'they' is). Of course, that's completely counterproductive, but what can I say? I have my limits.
Right now I've got major career issues that require massive amounts of time, energy, money and attention - it's like juggling chainsaws... I've got some sort of nonsense to deal with about my stupid car and the DMV that I don't really understand... I've got a pile of insurance-related paperwork that has needed my attention for ages now... the list goes on...

Come to think of it, my biggest beef with this modern world in general is how deeply embedded bureaucracy has become in our everyday life.

Despite what my family and friends may say, I'm not a stupid person... I have a college degree... I'm generally a good troubleshooter... my thought processes are generally very logical...

And yet, any time you put a pile of paperwork in front of me dealing with any kind of insurance, legal documents, medical documents, credit statements, registrations, 401K, etc. I feel like I'm two years old.

When did everything get so friggin' COMPLICATED? Every time I fill out one form, I get ten more in the mail saying I did it wrong and now I've got to fill out a new pile of forms explaining why. This makes me paranoid about filling out forms at all. I just want to move to the mountains and hide away and eat roots and berries for the rest of my life when I get this crap in the mail.
And, naturally, it's all written in this completely bizarre language that NOBODY actually speaks in - designed to cause as much confusion as humanly possible. I'd be less upset by it all if I wasn't utterly convinced that somebody out there got paid (oftentimes with tax dollars) to devise these completely ass-backwards systems.

It seems to me, the key role of beaurocracy is to feed itself and keep growing until it chokes the life out of everything simple and good in the world. And we all simply accept it and whenever we screw up, we assume it's our fault. How many times have you had to call some sort of support line or help desk and been made to feel like a jackass for asking a question that was ENTIRELY legitimate? Never? Well, it happens to ME all the time.
One time I called the Macintosh tech support number for a question that most people would find extremely simple... now, I am the first to admit that I am NOT very 'tech-savvy', and I stated that to the douchebag who 'helped' me right away... he went on to explain what I needed to do in the most complicated way possible, and I kept having to stop him every two seconds to have him clarify everything because he was using terms that - while I'm sure are very common if you're the guy from 'PI' and surround yourself with a million computers and can calculate the time of day on Mars when the sun first rises on the northern hemisphere in the year 10,000 - BUT I AINT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING TECH SUPPORT!
And this guy has the gall to become impatient with ME!
I finally say to him 'Look - I'm not a computer guy... I'm an animator... I'll bet if I started jabbering on and on about putting a twist-truck-out with a blur pan on ones you'd have no idea what I'm talking about... that's how I feel with YOU... so just cut me some slack!'
This just made him more snotty and I wound up talking to his supervisor who explained to me what I needed to do to fix my computer in about two seconds in a very calm, friendly and understanding way. But by this time I was so ragged that her competence was overshadowed by his massive incompetence.

I'm tired of ranting now... have a nice day...

MORE VOMIT-BAG ART

Those of you who frequent this blog (as well as Leigh's) may very well notice that neither of us has updated then in a while. The fact is, we've both been burning the candle at both ends... she just started a new job and I've been swamped with my current one - I was sent on a last-minute mission to Toronto last week (which is always a delight since it's at least a full day's worth of travel).
Next week I'll be jetting up to Vancouver for a super-secret project as well...
So, anyway, the point is - we've both been really busy. Heap sympathy upon me.
There's not a lot to comment on other than my hectic life - but at the very least I thought I'd post this little gem of a scene I spotted while hopping from plane to plane last week. Enjoy.

FILTH IS FUNNY!!!

Here's my idea for a hilarious sit-com! Look for it this fall on one of your favorite networks! MAN, I'm a comedy genius...

I INVENTED A DRINK!

So Leigh and I were relaxing over the course of the weekend, and she started making herself a cocktail... one of her go-to drinks is a 'dirty martini' which basically involves dumping a bunch of olive or onion brine into a regular martini.
I've tried them before and they didn't really thrill me a whole lot (which probably has something to do with me not liking onions OR olives).
But as she's making her drink, it occurs to me that I like PICKLES... so I sez to her, "Hey, make ME one - but use pickle brine!"
She proceeds to mix vermouth, vodka and the brine... I take a sip and - lo and behold - it tastes REALLY GOOD!
Now, obviously, if you hate pickles or tart-tasting stuff in general, you aint gonna like it, but I really dug it! The pickle juice really mixed nicely with the vodka. On top of that, if you garnish it with some pickle slices (baby dills work best), they taste awesome after they soak up some booze!
Naturally, it was then incumbent upon me to name my new creation - after a few false starts, we let the natural phallus-like quality of the pickle be the inspiration and christened it: THE DIRTY DILLDO MARTINI! (it puts the 'DILL' in 'DILDO'!)
The 'Dirty Dilldo Martini' is now a registered trademark of John Fountain and Fountains Pen Productions, all rights reserved 2006 - no use of said name may be allowed without written permission by its inventor or his agents.
Smooth! Refreshing! Pickle-y! Try the John Fountain Dirty Dilldo Martini tonight!

PAST AND PRESENT

I don't really have the time to go into anything particularly new or interesting today, so I just thought I'd post this sample from one of my older sketchbook entries along with a recent waterccolor painting.
Neither of them relate in any way, but somehow I thought they went well together.
If you click on the image you can see it in larger form - it makes the text easier to read. Nothing can be done, however, about my horrible handwriting.

BRETT RATNER IS A BRETT HACK-NER

Look, I'm sure I'm not the only nerd who is using his blog space to rip on Brett Ratner for ruining the "X-Men 3" movie, but here's the difference between me and most of them: I don't really care about 'X-Men'.
I never quite got into the X-comics for a multitude of reasons... too many characters being one of them... but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate their appeal.
Actually, for my money, I preferred the classic X-Men when it was the professor, Jean, Iceman, Beast, Cyclopse and Angel. Once it started getting into dudes throwing decks of cards around and chicks who could steal life-force, I started kinda getting bored.

Having said that, I thought the first X-movie was good. Not 'really good'... just 'good'. The second one I would say was really, really, REALLY good (one more 'really' and I woulda called it 'great').
My point is, I don't have a lifetime invested in X-men the way I do Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, The Hulk and some of my other major favorites... consequently, I feel I'm in a good position to be objective with the films.
Which brings me to my real point: "X-Men 3" is a unchartably awful film.
I'm a pretty easy sell when it comes to science fiction or fantasy... even if the story is ass, I can still get into the pretty pictures and the special effects and the things that go 'boom'. I will defend all of the 'Matrix' sequels and the 'Star Wars' prequels... So it's not like I'm a tough audience.

This leads us to only one conclusion: Brett Ratner is a truly horrible director.

The thing is, I saw 'Rush Hour' (and I think I might have seen 'Rush Hour 2' for some reason)... again, horrible movies, but Jackie Chan's fight choreography is enough to keep me from jamming a cattle prod into my urethra... it was "Red Dragon" (the "Silence of the Lambs" prequel) that gave me my first real taste of hating Ratner. Here was a film with an amazing cast, great book AND a great movie to base this updated version on, and somehow Ratner STILL managed to mess it up. Fortunately, his (snicker) 'directing' didn't completely destroy the film's enjoyability, but he sure came close.
I also made the mistake of listening to his 'commentary' on 'Dragon's DVD... my goodness what a blowhard. I just can't even describe it. If you're ever feeling suicidal but you're one reason shy of enough reasons to actually pull the trigger, listen to about 90 seconds of Ratner's commentary on the 'Red Dragon' DVD. It'll make you hate kittens.

Nonetheless, 'Red Dragon' was years ago, so I actually allowed myself to go into 'X-3' with a certain degree of cautious optimism... "Maybe the story is so good that it'll overpower Ratner's suckiness"... "Maybe Bryan Singer's style has rubbed off on him"... "Maybe he'll get really good storyboard artists"... ANYTHING... I clung to hope. Silly me.

Ratner's directing is like a black hole that sucks in anything and everything good or appealing and shatters it into nothingness... forever lost in the cold void of Ratner's ass.
Joel "I Turned The Batman Franchise Into An Episode of H.R. Puffinstuff" Schumacher must be overjoyed by "X-3" insomuch as it has the potential to draw peoples' attention away from his abominations for a while.

Ratner clearly hates X-Men fans... but he hates NON X-Men fans as well. He hates all moviegoers and lovers of film.

Brett Ratner hates you.

"X-3" was directed in such a way that if you're a die-hard fan, you'll be monumentally disappointed, saddened and even angered... if you're just a casual moviegoer, you'll be bored, confused and filled with an un-named hate (allow me to help you target that hate: RATNER!).

Major story points are glossed over as if they mean nothing, important plot developments are farted out without thought... beloved characters are treated like so much fodder - you will care nothing about any of these people portrayed in this movie.
I don't care if you still sleep in 'Wolverine Underoos', you will drown in your own indifference at this movie.The special effects are cheap, the dialogue could just as easily be delivered by a bunch of dental assistants as they could superpowered mutants, there are a total of about 4 really chincy-looking sets throughout the entire movie that look as they were shot in Stan Lee's back yard and you just get the overall impression that Ratner was told that if he brought the whole thing in under budget he'd get a bonus and then went and cut costs in half.
Halle Barry should make every movie with Brett. They're perfectly paired. That's all I'll say about her performance.

Alas, however, this movie had a great opening weekend - Ratner is rolling in cash while Lindsay Lohan massages his puffy pink feet and dreams of playing the heroine in his next blockbuster. Movie executives (possiblly the only people in the world dumber than actors) will say "Duuuuhhhrrrr-welp! It made uh whole buncha munnee! Guess that means Brett is a great duh-wreck-tor! Let's let him direct the re-make of 'Citizen Kane'!"

Sleep well tonight, Brett Ratner - go to bed with the assurance that you came along at JUST the right time... a time when people have gotten so stupid and their expectations sunken so low that someone like you can be a millionaire.

EXCELSIOR!

DON'T BE ANGRY

No, really... seriously... don't be angry. It's not allowed. Society won't accept it.
When did it become so taboo to be angry about something? I don't mean VIOLENT... I just mean 'angry'. If you say you're 'angry' people flip out and assume you're going to pull out a shotgun and start blasting away. That's not 'angry', that's 'psycho'.
The absolute most you can get away with in day-to-day circles is 'upset.' But 'upset' isn't always particularly accurate. I equate 'upset' with having hurt feelings. And if you say "I'm feeling upset", people tend to react with sympathetic hugs and positive reassurance... which is, of course, the last thing you want when you're angry. If you say you're upset when you're actually angry and someone starts slathering you with weepy new-age hippie psychobabbly bullshit, it just makes you angrier.
The 'politically correct' way to say you're angry is by saying you're 'frustrated'. "I'm not angry at you... I'm just frustrated with the situation." Again, frustration is what I feel when I'm find out that my alarm didn't go off and I have to rush around to make it to work on time. It's not the same as angry.
Generally speaking, if someone says they're 'frustrated' with you, it means they're angry as hell at you.
When did we all become so afraid of our emotions? Life is a rollercoaster ride and we should embrace the fact that from time to time we're going to feel truckloads of different emotions. If we were happy all the time, life would be profoundly boring.
We're all so petrified of hurting each others' feelings... everyone's walking on eggshells... all forms of expression are stifled by this subliminated requirement not to offend anyone.
It's very... frustrating.