COMIC-CON MEMORIES

Okay, so these are long overdue and in retrospect not even all that interesting... this year's convention wound up being an odd affair (for reasons that will be apparent if you keep reading). I had a good time, but not nearly as much as I used to.
I got worn out really quickly and - pretty much from day one - found myself wanting to be back home with Leigh and Otto. MOST of my time there was spent doing work-related stuff... and when I wasn't engulfed in career stuff, I was drowning in the crowd. It really has just gotten way too big for my tastes.
I guess I've just kinda turned into a homebody... but - fortunately - I was there to help promote the premier of 'Yin Yang Yo!' for Disney, and when you're with 'The Mouse' it makes it really easy to navigate the rocky terrain of the comics convention. If I couldn't go in under the umbrella of 'professional', I'd never go anywhere near it.
Anyway... here are my Comic-Con 2006 sketches. They are what they are.


Just a little practical advice for future attendees...
The drive from L.A. is generally about 2 hours, and I - shockingly - made great time this year. Of course, that MAY have had something to do with the fact that I hit the road by 9AM (the convention wouldn't even be open util 6PM).
Fortunately, even though I showed up early to my hotel - which had a great view of the ocean and aircraft carriers - they let me check in early (THANK YOU, DISNEY!) and plop my stuff in my room allowing me to jam on over to the convention center a full two hours before my passes would become available. I was the first in line.


'Preview Night' was started last year as a way for professionals and the truly hardcore to show up before the rest of the mobs... but preview night was just as jammed as the regular convention.
Thank god for my PSP that's all I gotta say. I waited in line for over an hour - but I had "Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories" to keep me company.
Usually you can count on people in the 'professionals' lines to be a little less weird and a little more civilized than the comics fans themselves, and yet there was some gray-haired older dude screeching and stamping his feet with rage like a friggin' crybaby because he had to stand in line.
I mean, I'm as annoyed by lines and waiting as much as the next guy, but c'mon... this was a grown man - presumably a professional - and he was literally throwing a temper tantrum.
By the time I got back to my hotel (which was ridiculously far from the convention - THANKS, DISNEY! - I was sweaty, exhausted, smelly and starved.
Fortunately, Leigh's care package kept me energized (and fat).


I always bump into Louie and Julie DelCarmen at Comic Con (see his site - Random Anomalies - for a much better post-con wrapup). This time it was easy, though, 'cause Louie had not one but TWO books for sale at his very own booth. I did this superfast sketch of he and Julie as they sat at their table. Both of Louie's books are brilliant. Buy them by the gross.
Louie's new book was the only thing I purchased on my first day at the convention. This was a precursor to what would be a slim buying year for me.


I use the name 'Chris' because I'm not sure if he'd want me to use his real name... anyway, for those of you who know me, it's probably not who you think it is.
Anyway...
'Chris' passed on some very upsetting information to me. I don't go into details, but it was just another reason this year's convention was an emotional roller-coaster ride.

HEY BIG SPENDER!
Yep... that's me...
Most of what tickled my fancy this year came in the form of dollar-bin stuff like this... but I gotta say, I feel like I struck gold. The 'Super Goof' comic was honestly a very charming read (and NOT in an ironic way... IRONY CAN KISS MY ASS!!! I'M SICK OF IRONY!!!)... the 'Seymore My Son' - which was really just a lot of haiku-like stories about a father with a teenage son with lots of kinda lame, typical "Oh-These-Kids-Today"-style jokes - had the appeal of obviously being illustrated by Dan DeCarlo - one of my favorite comic book artists (best known for his work on 'Archie' books)... and 'The Witching Hour' was typically weird 70's fare, but I remember being scared to death of the covers of these books when I was a little kid, so it was fun to read this now that I'm all old and cynical and stuff. The psuedo-perverted cover was a fun find as well. And, hey, it was a buck.
The fact that this year I probably spent about a total of twenty-five ACTUAL dollars on ACTUAL comics (I usually spend over a grand) at the convention is a sign of how disappointed I was with it.
I usually drop the majority on my dough in 'artists alley' (mostly handmade mini-comics) and the small-press area... but this year - I dunno - it was just a lot of 'sameness' in both places.
It's not that there wasn't anything 'good'... there was... but there were no real 'must haves' (apart from Louie's books). Does anyone think about - I dunno - entertaining their audience any more? I mean, I'm all for 'Art for Art's sake', but if you really want my money, I'm sorry... call me another dumb, fat, American slob... but I like my comics to be entertaining.
That doesn't mean they have to be 'commercially entertaining', but gimme SOMETHING to latch onto.
It seemed as though all of the small press and independant stuff was either so UTTERLY void of originality (how many more superhero parodies can there be?) or so UTTERLY inaccessibly abstract (I guess the ravens symbolize your inner pain... or they're easy to draw...?) or UTTERLY without content at all (okay, enough sketchbooks filled with your lifedrawings from your first year at art school) that I just found myself saying "I don't need this" a lot.


Yep... this was how day 3 began. Kinda put everything in perspective and suddenly Comic-Con seemed even MORE silly than it usually does.
I couldn't possibly have made it home in time for the funeral, which just frustrated me... I wasn't particularly close to my grandma, but I wanted to be there for my dad.


This was the view of dudes I ate dinner with that night. This was my first real day of doing lots of promo stuff for YYY, so I was dressed semi-formally and, of course, decked out entirely in black... so I was a sticky, sweaty mess by this time.
The food at this place was great, though... it's one of those Brazillian places where they just continuously bring skewer after skewer of dead animal flesh - freshly grilled - to your table and you devour it like a carnasaur. My kinda restaurant!


This was where everything really deteriorated. These idiots showed up after I had tucked my little head into bed and was in a blissfully deep sleep (I let them all crash in my hotel because I'm just really great like that) and, naturally, their arrival meant we had to all get up and go to the hotel bar for shots and talk about 'Spider-Man'. It was great.
From here on out everything was a blur of doing autograph signings at the YYY booth and panels and screenings and meetings and interviews etc. etc. etc.
My most heartwarming thanks to everyone who came to the panel as well as everyone who stopped by the booth.


Speaking of booths, MAD props (as the kids say) to Ira, Albert and Raphael for not only selling a ton of 'Hot Mexican Love Comics' (go to www.hotmexicanlovecomics.com) but for scoring a distribution deal with Diamond Press! This means - before you know it - the anthology (with a story by me'n'Leigh) will be available across the nation and around the world!
I really must give HUGE credit to Ira who did such a bang-up job composing, editing and marketing this book.
In the photo, that's Ira and Raphael and the sad-looking dope in the back is me.


This little guy represents everything that's still good and pure about Comic-Con.

YEAH, I KNOW...

Undoubtedly you're all wondering where my brilliant commentary on Comic-Con is... IT'S COMING, OKAY?!?! IT'S BEEN A BUSY WEEK!!! I ACTUALLY WORK FOR A LIVING, Y'KNOW! SO ALL OF YOU JUST CHILL OUT ALREADY!!!

*whew*

Seriously, though, I do have several pages of sketchbooks coming... I'll try to get them posted sometime this weekend.

If you want a truly in-depth look at ComiCon, go to Louie's site (as linked over to yonder right). His site's better anyway.

Why are you even here? Hell, why am I even here...

In the meantime, go to:

http://tv.disney.go.com/jetix/video/index.html

It has an episode of 'Yin Yang Yo!' that was written and directed by me. Enjoy!

THE HERO OF COMICON

COMIC-CON PLUGS A-PLENTY

I'm going to try REALLY hard to keep a detailed diary of my experiences at Comic-Con this year - drawings and photos - specifically for this blog... so if you're a student of anthropology, keep checking back for updates 'cause when it comes to observing the human animal in its most primitive state, nothin' beats Comic-Con!

On Friday, Bob Boyle - creator of Yin! Yang! Yo! - and myself will apparently be doing a drawing demonstration at the Jetix Booth in aisle 3823... I'm not sure what time we're doing it yet... no one's told me. Look here for updates between now and Tuesday.

From www.comic-con.org

Saturday, July 22nd
1:30-2:30 JETIX— Learn what's hot and new at JETIX! You'll get a chance to win exclusive Power Rangers Mystic Force props and a one-of-a-kind piece of signed comic book art for the new JETIX comedy Yin Yang Yo! Catch a sneak peek of Yin Yang Yo! with appearances by creative/executive producer Bob Boyle, co-executive producer/head writer Steve Marmel, and director John Fountain. Also preview the cool new shows Oban Star Racers, Jackie Chan Adventures, and Pucca, and get the inside story on JETIX's new shows with ABC Cable execs Mike Moon, Tracy McAndrew, and Jermaine Turner. Room 2

Also, Bob and myself will be doing drawings and signing stuff at the Jetix Booth in aisle 3823 after the above panel discussion. I'm also told we will be giving away prizes in the form of autographed stuff in case you're into that sort of thing... autographs notwithstanding (god I love that word), the prize is a special limited edition poster that's actually pretty cool. Ya gotta see it.

Also, be sure to hunt down, visit, and buy:

YIN! YANG! YO!

me (in the hat) and Steve Marmel (not in the hat)


It's PLUGGIN' time, folks... here's the press-release Disney put out about the show I've been working on for the past year:

BURBANK and PASADENA, July 10, 2006 . . . "Yin Yang Yo!," a new action/adventure/comedy series created, directed and executive produced by Bob Boyle ("The Fairly OddParents"); written and co-executive produced by comedian and animation veteran Steve Marmel ("The Fairly OddParents") and co-directed by John Fountain ("The Fairly OddParents"), will premiere in a Yin Yang Yoverthrow programming event on MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 4 (6:00 a.m.–12:00 midnight) taking over the Jetix block on Toon Disney. "Yin Yang Yo!" will air in half-hour installments every weeknight (7:30 p.m., ET/PT) during Jetix, it was announced today at the Television Critics Association press tour by Gary Marsh, President, Entertainment, Disney Channel Worldwide.
Marsh said, "Young viewers will be treated to imaginative characters, madcap adventures, physical comedy and great stories told from a truly unique point of view, a perfect fit for our Jetix block."
Geared towards kids 6-11 with cleverly written comedy and visually engaging anime, the series is produced utilizing Flash animation software. Beginning in September 2006, "Yin Yang Yo!" joins the Jetix schedules in Europe, Latin America and the U.S.
"Yin Yang Yo!" follows the antics of hyper-kinetic tween rabbits Yin and Yang who, when faced with the sometimes threatening and mostly idiotic forces of evil (including Carl the evil Cockroach Wizard who still lives with his mom), must temporarily put aside their sibling rivalry to learn the mystical martial art of Woo Foo, the energy that allows them to defeat enemies ten times stronger than themselves. They train under the guidance of Master Yo, an irritable old panda forced out of retirement to rebuild the lost art, two heroes at a time. Alas Yin and Yang's judgment most often misses the mark, always with hilarious consequences.
Beginning today, kids can log onto the Jetix website (www.jetix.tv) and watch a preview of series via the website's broadband player. Each week leading up to the September 4 on-air premiere, a new eleven-minute segment of the series will roll out online.


So that's the deal... if you go to the web-site you can see images from the show and watch the first episode 'Dojo Oh-No' which was storyboarded and directed by me... I'm especially proud of it because it was my first time directing anything using 'Flash' (an animation program). Lotsa folks in the animation industry are wary of Flash because a lot of shows produced with it wind up looking all flat and cheap, but I think this episode proves that - like all animation software - it's an effective tool if used properly.

But if you'd rather spend your time laughing at what an unfortunate-looking and foolish sort of guy I am, go to www.rabbittakeover.com and watch our little live-action promos which feature myself, Bob Boyle, Steve Marmel, my good pal Eric Trueheart and some of the other crew from the show.

Here's what I mean by 'unfortunate' and 'foolish':


For more laughs at my expense, go visit the Rabbit Takeover site and enjoy giving me nonstop crap about it.
Never let it be said that I don't go all out for my job...

ALSO...

As part of the promotional blitz, I will be doing several signings and a panel discussion (which will also include an episode screening) at the Jetix booth/panel at the San Diego ComiCon next week. (www.comic-con.org for details). So if you plan to be there, come by and say 'hi'. If you don't plan on being there... well... it's probably just as well. The ComiCon has gotten WAAAYYYYY too crowded in recent years.

Anyway...

A QUICK YET IMPORTANT MESSAGE

You're all probably still reading my review of 'Superman Returns' ('cause it's so long? Get it? HUH? GET IT?) but I wanted to take a moment to relay a very important message to the teenagers of the Los Angeles area - specifically the hellhole known as 'The Valley':
IT'S A HUNDRED MILLION DEGREES OUT! TAKE OFF THE SWEATSHIRTS, HOODIES AND FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY TAKE OFF THE @#$%^&*(!!!! STOCKING CAPS YOU 'TARDS! NO, SCRATCH THAT... A 'TARD IS SMART ENOUGH NOT TO DRESS LIKE IT'S WINTER IN THE FRIGGIN' SUMMERTIME!!! YOU'RE TEENAGERS! YOU SWEAT ENOUGH AS IT IS! I KNOW - I WAS THERE! I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE ALL TRYING REALLY HARD TO LOOK LIKE GANGSTA RAPPERS, BUT F'R CRYIN' OUT LOUD, GET RID OF THE LAYERS UPON LAYERS OF WHAT IS SURELY HORRID-SMELLING WINTER CLOTHING!!! YOU DON'T LOOK TOUGH, YOU LOOK INCREDIBLY DUMB!!! STOP IT! JUST! STOP! IT!
*whew* - thanks. Now get back to reading my review.

SUPERMAN RETURNS: My Review

Superman has always been my favorite comic book hero... partially for all of the obvious reasons - the great powers, etc. - but I also think it largely has to do with the fact that I, too, am a small-town boy at heart with aspirations that reach far and wide. I, too, am a cornball who believes in 'truth, justice and the American way' (yes, that's right - the AMERICAN way - chew on that politically-correct apologist sissies).
One of the reasons I love the original Richard Donner film is because he portrayed the character for what he really is - an overgrown boyscout - and made no bones about it.
And who can deny that Christopher Reeve embraced that role so profoundly that it basically removed any hope of him being recognized for any other performance (we'll call it the 'Mark Hamill' syndrome).

My point with all of this is that I go into a movie with the name 'Superman' attatched to it with a lot of lofty expectations - perhaps unrealistically lofty.

'Superman Returns' is a good movie. That's about all I can say right now. The character is treated with the same love and care as the originals and the homages to the Donner films are almost constant. Brandon Routh is fine, and Kevin Spacey is great. But there was just something missing...
My initial feeling is that SO much effort was put into capturing the magic of the original films (including a musical score lifted directly from the brilliant John Williams scores) that film itself was somewhat self-suffocating.

While Routh's acting was perfectly servicable, I didn't feel like he was given enough character-driven action to really bring Superman to life in this version.
Reeve's Superman had a sparkling sense of humor, a temper, and sometimes even a bit of an ego. Routh was clearly overburdened with meeting a gazillion different expectations, and it wound up making both Superman and Clark Kent seem like a cardboard cutout that the rest of the characters interacted with.

Meanwhile, this broad who played Lois Lane - whatzername - was basically irrelevant. I can say with all honesty that I have NEVER approved of her being cast as Lois, and I was 100% right. She's too damned young for one thing, and she's FAR too 'cutesy' to play a tuff dame like Lois. This actress, whom I'm sure might be good in other rolls but I'm too peeved with right now to even bother looking up her name, was far too 'Prime-Time WB sweeps-week eye-candy'.

Parkey Posey plays Lex Luthor's girlfriend in the film, and frankly I think she would have made a MUCH better Lois. I would actually be willing to bet the farm that Posey was Bryan Singer's first choice, but the studio suits probably pulled rank and said "NAH, YA GOTTA GET SOME HOT YOUNG LITTLE CHIPPY IN THERE!"

My other major problem with the movie is - as with many movies - the presence of a moppety-haired little kid. Lois' son Jason (I think every kid in every movie is named 'Jason') acts as a major plotpoint - I won't give away how, but suffice it to say: I hated it.

Having said all of that, the special effects were great - it was nice to see Superman fly and actually have it LOOK REAL. Its connections to the first two 'Superman' movies was enjoyable ('Returns' is considered a "loose sequel" to 'Superman II' taking place five years later).

Anyway, all in all I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda disappointed. I made the mistake of letting my hopes get too high.
As a workhorse to re-start the franchise, I'm sure it'll do fine... maybe if they make another one, I'll like it more. After all, I was equally disappointed by the first 'X-Men' film, but loved the second one. Maybe now that this one is out of the way, Singer, Routh and Warner Brothers in general can loosen their belts a little and let the characters breathe a little more in the next film.

Of course, they'd have to kill off that little kid's character - my... wouldn't THAT be interesting?

I'm anxious to hear YOUR thoughts... so... let the discussion begin!

I HATE BUREAUCRACY WITH ALL THE FLAMES OF HELL

My head is an absolute whirlwind of crap right now and ordinarily I'm pretty good at staying on top of things, but I really am feeling like every time I accomplish one task, twenty other tasks take its place - so I subconsciously wind up feeling like I'm just better off not tackling ANY of my little chores, 'cause then 'they' can't pile more on me (whoever 'they' is). Of course, that's completely counterproductive, but what can I say? I have my limits.
Right now I've got major career issues that require massive amounts of time, energy, money and attention - it's like juggling chainsaws... I've got some sort of nonsense to deal with about my stupid car and the DMV that I don't really understand... I've got a pile of insurance-related paperwork that has needed my attention for ages now... the list goes on...

Come to think of it, my biggest beef with this modern world in general is how deeply embedded bureaucracy has become in our everyday life.

Despite what my family and friends may say, I'm not a stupid person... I have a college degree... I'm generally a good troubleshooter... my thought processes are generally very logical...

And yet, any time you put a pile of paperwork in front of me dealing with any kind of insurance, legal documents, medical documents, credit statements, registrations, 401K, etc. I feel like I'm two years old.

When did everything get so friggin' COMPLICATED? Every time I fill out one form, I get ten more in the mail saying I did it wrong and now I've got to fill out a new pile of forms explaining why. This makes me paranoid about filling out forms at all. I just want to move to the mountains and hide away and eat roots and berries for the rest of my life when I get this crap in the mail.
And, naturally, it's all written in this completely bizarre language that NOBODY actually speaks in - designed to cause as much confusion as humanly possible. I'd be less upset by it all if I wasn't utterly convinced that somebody out there got paid (oftentimes with tax dollars) to devise these completely ass-backwards systems.

It seems to me, the key role of beaurocracy is to feed itself and keep growing until it chokes the life out of everything simple and good in the world. And we all simply accept it and whenever we screw up, we assume it's our fault. How many times have you had to call some sort of support line or help desk and been made to feel like a jackass for asking a question that was ENTIRELY legitimate? Never? Well, it happens to ME all the time.
One time I called the Macintosh tech support number for a question that most people would find extremely simple... now, I am the first to admit that I am NOT very 'tech-savvy', and I stated that to the douchebag who 'helped' me right away... he went on to explain what I needed to do in the most complicated way possible, and I kept having to stop him every two seconds to have him clarify everything because he was using terms that - while I'm sure are very common if you're the guy from 'PI' and surround yourself with a million computers and can calculate the time of day on Mars when the sun first rises on the northern hemisphere in the year 10,000 - BUT I AINT ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE! THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING TECH SUPPORT!
And this guy has the gall to become impatient with ME!
I finally say to him 'Look - I'm not a computer guy... I'm an animator... I'll bet if I started jabbering on and on about putting a twist-truck-out with a blur pan on ones you'd have no idea what I'm talking about... that's how I feel with YOU... so just cut me some slack!'
This just made him more snotty and I wound up talking to his supervisor who explained to me what I needed to do to fix my computer in about two seconds in a very calm, friendly and understanding way. But by this time I was so ragged that her competence was overshadowed by his massive incompetence.

I'm tired of ranting now... have a nice day...

MORE VOMIT-BAG ART

Those of you who frequent this blog (as well as Leigh's) may very well notice that neither of us has updated then in a while. The fact is, we've both been burning the candle at both ends... she just started a new job and I've been swamped with my current one - I was sent on a last-minute mission to Toronto last week (which is always a delight since it's at least a full day's worth of travel).
Next week I'll be jetting up to Vancouver for a super-secret project as well...
So, anyway, the point is - we've both been really busy. Heap sympathy upon me.
There's not a lot to comment on other than my hectic life - but at the very least I thought I'd post this little gem of a scene I spotted while hopping from plane to plane last week. Enjoy.

FILTH IS FUNNY!!!

Here's my idea for a hilarious sit-com! Look for it this fall on one of your favorite networks! MAN, I'm a comedy genius...

I INVENTED A DRINK!

So Leigh and I were relaxing over the course of the weekend, and she started making herself a cocktail... one of her go-to drinks is a 'dirty martini' which basically involves dumping a bunch of olive or onion brine into a regular martini.
I've tried them before and they didn't really thrill me a whole lot (which probably has something to do with me not liking onions OR olives).
But as she's making her drink, it occurs to me that I like PICKLES... so I sez to her, "Hey, make ME one - but use pickle brine!"
She proceeds to mix vermouth, vodka and the brine... I take a sip and - lo and behold - it tastes REALLY GOOD!
Now, obviously, if you hate pickles or tart-tasting stuff in general, you aint gonna like it, but I really dug it! The pickle juice really mixed nicely with the vodka. On top of that, if you garnish it with some pickle slices (baby dills work best), they taste awesome after they soak up some booze!
Naturally, it was then incumbent upon me to name my new creation - after a few false starts, we let the natural phallus-like quality of the pickle be the inspiration and christened it: THE DIRTY DILLDO MARTINI! (it puts the 'DILL' in 'DILDO'!)
The 'Dirty Dilldo Martini' is now a registered trademark of John Fountain and Fountains Pen Productions, all rights reserved 2006 - no use of said name may be allowed without written permission by its inventor or his agents.
Smooth! Refreshing! Pickle-y! Try the John Fountain Dirty Dilldo Martini tonight!

PAST AND PRESENT

I don't really have the time to go into anything particularly new or interesting today, so I just thought I'd post this sample from one of my older sketchbook entries along with a recent waterccolor painting.
Neither of them relate in any way, but somehow I thought they went well together.
If you click on the image you can see it in larger form - it makes the text easier to read. Nothing can be done, however, about my horrible handwriting.

BRETT RATNER IS A BRETT HACK-NER

Look, I'm sure I'm not the only nerd who is using his blog space to rip on Brett Ratner for ruining the "X-Men 3" movie, but here's the difference between me and most of them: I don't really care about 'X-Men'.
I never quite got into the X-comics for a multitude of reasons... too many characters being one of them... but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate their appeal.
Actually, for my money, I preferred the classic X-Men when it was the professor, Jean, Iceman, Beast, Cyclopse and Angel. Once it started getting into dudes throwing decks of cards around and chicks who could steal life-force, I started kinda getting bored.

Having said that, I thought the first X-movie was good. Not 'really good'... just 'good'. The second one I would say was really, really, REALLY good (one more 'really' and I woulda called it 'great').
My point is, I don't have a lifetime invested in X-men the way I do Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, The Hulk and some of my other major favorites... consequently, I feel I'm in a good position to be objective with the films.
Which brings me to my real point: "X-Men 3" is a unchartably awful film.
I'm a pretty easy sell when it comes to science fiction or fantasy... even if the story is ass, I can still get into the pretty pictures and the special effects and the things that go 'boom'. I will defend all of the 'Matrix' sequels and the 'Star Wars' prequels... So it's not like I'm a tough audience.

This leads us to only one conclusion: Brett Ratner is a truly horrible director.

The thing is, I saw 'Rush Hour' (and I think I might have seen 'Rush Hour 2' for some reason)... again, horrible movies, but Jackie Chan's fight choreography is enough to keep me from jamming a cattle prod into my urethra... it was "Red Dragon" (the "Silence of the Lambs" prequel) that gave me my first real taste of hating Ratner. Here was a film with an amazing cast, great book AND a great movie to base this updated version on, and somehow Ratner STILL managed to mess it up. Fortunately, his (snicker) 'directing' didn't completely destroy the film's enjoyability, but he sure came close.
I also made the mistake of listening to his 'commentary' on 'Dragon's DVD... my goodness what a blowhard. I just can't even describe it. If you're ever feeling suicidal but you're one reason shy of enough reasons to actually pull the trigger, listen to about 90 seconds of Ratner's commentary on the 'Red Dragon' DVD. It'll make you hate kittens.

Nonetheless, 'Red Dragon' was years ago, so I actually allowed myself to go into 'X-3' with a certain degree of cautious optimism... "Maybe the story is so good that it'll overpower Ratner's suckiness"... "Maybe Bryan Singer's style has rubbed off on him"... "Maybe he'll get really good storyboard artists"... ANYTHING... I clung to hope. Silly me.

Ratner's directing is like a black hole that sucks in anything and everything good or appealing and shatters it into nothingness... forever lost in the cold void of Ratner's ass.
Joel "I Turned The Batman Franchise Into An Episode of H.R. Puffinstuff" Schumacher must be overjoyed by "X-3" insomuch as it has the potential to draw peoples' attention away from his abominations for a while.

Ratner clearly hates X-Men fans... but he hates NON X-Men fans as well. He hates all moviegoers and lovers of film.

Brett Ratner hates you.

"X-3" was directed in such a way that if you're a die-hard fan, you'll be monumentally disappointed, saddened and even angered... if you're just a casual moviegoer, you'll be bored, confused and filled with an un-named hate (allow me to help you target that hate: RATNER!).

Major story points are glossed over as if they mean nothing, important plot developments are farted out without thought... beloved characters are treated like so much fodder - you will care nothing about any of these people portrayed in this movie.
I don't care if you still sleep in 'Wolverine Underoos', you will drown in your own indifference at this movie.The special effects are cheap, the dialogue could just as easily be delivered by a bunch of dental assistants as they could superpowered mutants, there are a total of about 4 really chincy-looking sets throughout the entire movie that look as they were shot in Stan Lee's back yard and you just get the overall impression that Ratner was told that if he brought the whole thing in under budget he'd get a bonus and then went and cut costs in half.
Halle Barry should make every movie with Brett. They're perfectly paired. That's all I'll say about her performance.

Alas, however, this movie had a great opening weekend - Ratner is rolling in cash while Lindsay Lohan massages his puffy pink feet and dreams of playing the heroine in his next blockbuster. Movie executives (possiblly the only people in the world dumber than actors) will say "Duuuuhhhrrrr-welp! It made uh whole buncha munnee! Guess that means Brett is a great duh-wreck-tor! Let's let him direct the re-make of 'Citizen Kane'!"

Sleep well tonight, Brett Ratner - go to bed with the assurance that you came along at JUST the right time... a time when people have gotten so stupid and their expectations sunken so low that someone like you can be a millionaire.

EXCELSIOR!

DON'T BE ANGRY

No, really... seriously... don't be angry. It's not allowed. Society won't accept it.
When did it become so taboo to be angry about something? I don't mean VIOLENT... I just mean 'angry'. If you say you're 'angry' people flip out and assume you're going to pull out a shotgun and start blasting away. That's not 'angry', that's 'psycho'.
The absolute most you can get away with in day-to-day circles is 'upset.' But 'upset' isn't always particularly accurate. I equate 'upset' with having hurt feelings. And if you say "I'm feeling upset", people tend to react with sympathetic hugs and positive reassurance... which is, of course, the last thing you want when you're angry. If you say you're upset when you're actually angry and someone starts slathering you with weepy new-age hippie psychobabbly bullshit, it just makes you angrier.
The 'politically correct' way to say you're angry is by saying you're 'frustrated'. "I'm not angry at you... I'm just frustrated with the situation." Again, frustration is what I feel when I'm find out that my alarm didn't go off and I have to rush around to make it to work on time. It's not the same as angry.
Generally speaking, if someone says they're 'frustrated' with you, it means they're angry as hell at you.
When did we all become so afraid of our emotions? Life is a rollercoaster ride and we should embrace the fact that from time to time we're going to feel truckloads of different emotions. If we were happy all the time, life would be profoundly boring.
We're all so petrified of hurting each others' feelings... everyone's walking on eggshells... all forms of expression are stifled by this subliminated requirement not to offend anyone.
It's very... frustrating.

NIGHTMARE HUNTERS

'NIGHTMARE HUNTERS' AND ALL RELATED IMAGES, GRAPHICS, TEXT, CONCEPTS AND CONTENT ARE REGISTERED, COPYRIGHTED TRADEMARKS OF JOHN FOUNTAIN - 2006 - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO PART OF 'NIGHTMARE HUNTERS' MAY BE REPRODUCED WITHOUT THE WRITTEN PERMISSION OF ITS AUTHOR AND CREATOR, JOHN FOUNTAIN.

*Whew*! Now that I got THAT stuff outta the way, perhaps I should explain...

Several years ago while I was still on "The Fairly Oddparents", I got this idea for an animated show that was intended to be a sort of 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer' meets 'Vampire Hunter D' that would be appropriate for younger audiences.
Thus, the concept of 'Nightmare Hunters' was born... the idea being that nightmares have figured out a way to break into our reality and feed on our psyches (or 'figment' as it is known in the story) the way vampires feed on blood.
The two main characters, Rem and Luci, are the only two who can fight them off (for reasons that will be explained later) and the stories follow their adventures as they try to keep these dream-demons at bay.

Anyway, I loved this idea so much that as I continued to develop it and write scripts around it, I decided I needed to take time off from the daily grind of animation so that I could devote myself more fully to my new baby. I had lots of other ideas that I was pitching around, but this one was really dear to my heart. (By the way, do me a favor and don't bother writing in and saying "So-and-so already had that idea" or whatever... the notion of fighting nightmares is not 'new ground', but I can say that my take on it is honestly and sincerely my own, and that's why I'm protecting my rights to it here).

So, I quit FOP (much to everyone's shock) and whored myself out as a freelancer for a while, but my primary focus was on THIS concept.

Eventually I pitched it around and one of the major animation studios in town loved it and - after lots of haggling - optioned it for development as a possible television series (the studio shall remain nameless purely for the sake of caution, but I will go on record as saying that the experience working with them was generally very positive).
Anyway, for those of you who are fotunate enough not to be in the entertainment industry, an 'option' means that they pay you some money for the temporary rights to your idea... in my case, the option was for a maximum of two years... in that time, you work with the buyer to show them your concepts and make adjustments based on everyone's interests.
If they decide to permanently acquire the concept within the option deadline, they have to pay you more and then it gets made into a regular series - but THEY own it after that.
In my case, when their option deadline runs out, all rights to the characters, stories and everything else revert back to me.

And that's exactly what happened yesterday.

I had determined long before anyone optioned it that I wanted to do a comic book version so that if all the networks passed on it I could simply self-publish the comics and enjoy it for 'art's sake'.

While I'm obviously kinda bummed that it's been passed on (by this network) I'm also thrilled now that I have the opportunity to secure its copyright by publishing it on this blog. And you, dear reader, are now a part of it as a witness. So you have my thanks.

To be honest, as I dive back into working on the comic version, it's some of the most fun I've ever had. I can go back to my original stories without having to worry about 'network standards' or anything like that and just let my own bliss dictate the narrative.

Anyway, I hope to have the first issue done by this time next year (where I intend to premier it at ComiCon).

I'll have updates as they occur.

Now I'd like to take the time to publicly thank some folks who helped me during the pitching/developing process... most of them got paid either very little or nothing at all, but the hard work, support and encouragement they provided made it an extremely rewarding experience...
Holly Kim - Holly was my initial 'barometer' for the idea... she would look at the drawings, read my stuff and give me her brutally honest feedback. She also provided me with positively mind-blowing colors and graphic designs for the pitch materials.
Eric Trueheart - The only creative force other than myself who actually got paid by the studio. Eric co-write the script and a lot of the pitch material. Beyond that, however, Eric did COUNTLESS revisions for me off-the-clock (i.e. for free) out of sheer enthusiasm. He was my first choice for who I wanted as my scriptwriter, and it was great having him with me in the trenches. This project was not the last time you will see the fruits of a Eric/John teamup.
Louie DelCarmen, Cynthia French and Heather Chavez - These three nutjobs actually drew storyboards for me on their free time! Can you believe it? Louie, in fact, provided an action sequence that rivals the speeder-bike chase in 'Return of the Jedi'. Anyone who is a board artist or knows a board artist knows that they work really long hours, so taking on freelance work is often just not an option - yet Louie, Cynthia and Heather somehow did it and I couldn't be more grateful.
Jason Stiff - Unfortunately, we never got to the point where we needed music, but VERY early on Jason agreed to do some original scoring for it. The fact that someone as talented and cool as Jason was willing to jump in on something that had the potential of NO payoff was wildly flattering and encouraging. That encouragement, alone, was like rocket-fuel for me.
Ian Graham - Who said to me VERY early on: 'Don't try to do it all yourself.' This simple yet profound bit of advice has snowballed into a whole other work philosophy for me that has had long-lasting positive effects.
and of course...
Leigh Phillips my wonderful Fiancee who gave nonstop support and the kind of objective guidance no one that's IN the animation industry could possibly provide.
You all make up "The Dream Team" and you have my humble thanks.

Anyway, the future of Nightmare Hunters is still very bright... I can't go into any more details, but what I can say is at the very least I will do a comic of it that should be out sometime next year.

And remember:

NIGHTMARE HUNTERS IS A COPYRIGHTED TRADEMARK OF JOHN FOUNTAIN - 2006 - ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

Man that feels good...

BO BICE NEEDS OUR HELP!!!

Yes, it's time once again for everyone's LEAST favorite segment on this blog: JOHN DECONSTRUCTS VIDEOS HE SAW ON VH1 THIS MORNING!
Now, before you start rolling your eyes, if the 'music video genre' is, indeed, a serious art form, then why SHOULDN'T we look more closely at them? After all, are they not a mirror held up to society? Hmm? Huh? Hmmm?
Anyway...
I gotta talk about Bo Bice... I'm deeply concerned for his wellbeing.
As I understand it, the reason he 'exists' as he does is because he was on 'American Idol'. So, regardless of what I think of his music, apparently America wants Bo Bice (doesn't his name sound like Mushmouth from the 'Fat Albert' show is asking for 'more rice'? But I digress). Being a big believer in democracy, I say: DIG IN, AMERICA! Take a big, heaping helping of Bo Bice and enjoy. You've earned him. You have my blessing.
But what of Bo himself? Has anyone bothered to concern themselves with HIS needs? Apparently not. Thank goodness for ME.
So in his latest (only?) video, it depicts him walking - nay - strutting down a city street... paparazzi photographers use FBI-quality zoom lenses to snap fleeting pictures of the almost mythologically beautiful man, his pert-plus hair flowing in the breeze...
Occasionally when he walks by some 'regular' people (i.e. non-celebrities), they turn and look with appropriate amazement that Bo is actually out walking around among the commoners (who, naturally, are not actually commoners but actors being paid to pretend that they love Bo). They all (women AND men) drop everything they're doing and start chasing after our lanky hero (I'm sure their employers will waive whatever punishments would ordinarily befall a worker who fails to report in once they get wind that Bo was involved... they will undoubtedly be filled with jealousy that they weren't there for it).
Now, mind you, when I first saw this video I was CERTAIN that there was going to be some twist at the end of it all and it was all going to be a dream or the crowds were going to run past him and he'd be left alone all sad or something... I would have bet MONEY on it I was so certain that was gonna happen.
But I underestimated Bo.
Anyway, the mob of (mostly) hot girls who are wetting themselves over the presence of Bo grows and suddenly Bo is on stage gracing the city with an impromptu concert (for some reason it takes eight months to schedule someone to come over and install my cable box, and yet throwing up a stage and getting the band and sound equipment happens in a matter of nanoseconds in the world of this video).
There are occasional cutaway shots of Bo singing into the camera (undoubtedly admiring himself in the monitors) and taking that 'Jesus pose' (see illustration) that long-haired rock-stars seem to love so much (as if to say 'Yes... I am you messiah of rock, baby!') but it inevitably returns to his concert which now has an entire metropolitan city gathered around to worship at the alter of Bo.
As the song continues, I sit and wait for the twist-ending I've come to expect... or for the crowd of people to all yell "PSYCH!" at Bo and start laughing at him.
But the 'twist' never happens. This video is ACTUALLY about sending a message that says 'Bo thinks he's really awesome'.
Now, at first I was going to direct my critique at the director, but let's face it... we all know it had to be Bo who browbeat some poor slob of a struggling filmmaker into making this video a demonstration of pure ego. Can't you just picture THAT conversation?
DIRECTOR:"Okay, Bo, I was thinking we'd do something with you alone in a room with a spotlight on you and - "
BO: (interrupts) "NO WAY, MAN! LET'S HAVE ME WALKING DOWN A STREET AND BIG CROWDS OF SCREAMING GIRLS CHASE AFTER ME AND THEN I GIVE AN IMPROMPTU CONCERT AND ROCK EVERYONE'S WORLD!"
DIRECTOR: "Um... like when The Beatles gave their rooftop performance? I'm not sure that - "
BO: (interrupts again) "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 'BEATLES'? WHAT DO BUGS GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING! JUST CALL CENTRAL CASTING AND GET ME A CROWD OF HOT CHICKS! BECAUSE I'M SO VERY STRAIGHT!"
DIRECTOR: "Yes sir, Mr. Bice."
So, as you can tell, Bo desperately needs our help... if he is allowed to continue to think he's ACTUALLY great and not just another blip on the pop-culture radar, his ego may grow to such huge proportions that it could literally, physically crush him... and I want Bo alive and well so that he can continue to embarass himself for a couple of more years and then live the deliciously pitiful life of a 'has-been'.
This guy is pure, horriffic comedy... let's make sure we keep him healthy. Please give to the "HELP BO LIVE A LONG TIME BECAUSE HE'S GOOD FOR SOME CHEAP LAFFS" foundation... every little bit helps.
Thank you.

ANTI-SLICK

The show I'm on right now at Disney is knee-deep in post-production which means long hours of editing and sound mixing, etc. etc. etc.
Anyway, while I'm in these sessions there are lots of in-between moments spent sitting there waiting for various reasons and I've found myself doodling in my notebook... as a brainless exercise, I decided to start doodling by holding the pen by the butt-end and the above drawings of Superman and Wonder Woman are two of many results - and I must say, I'm positively thrilled with the outcome! So much so, in fact, I took the doodles, scanned them into photoshop and did a quick color-job on them.
Not that I think it's great art or anything, but it was FUN!
I'm beginning to learn more and more that as I 'let myself go' and stop trying to conform to a style or restrict myself with the endless mental blocks I usually bow to, the results are really pleasing to me.
For over half a decade now I've been working on shows with EXTREMELY tight, graphic-designy drawing styles - so this is my therapy: ANTI-SLICK! (phrase coined by Holly Kim)
I think I'm beginning to embrace this whole 'anti-slick' notion as an artistic philosophy... if nothing else, it's made drawing and painting fun again.

I SAY THINGS

"My life is constipated."
"Everything that exists is stuff."
"Anything is possible and nothing can be proven... including that statement."
"I'm so fat I'm like a Death-Star Made of meat."
"I have to pee so bad I have to urin-NINE!"
"People are just folks."
"I'm the worst kind of idiot... I'm just smart enough to know how dumb I really am."
All quotes genuine John Fountain nonsense.
Sorry about this... I'll do a real post tomorrow.

THIS GUY IS COOLER THAN ALL OF US

Just a quick watercolor sketch I did a coupla years ago on a lazy Sunday while watching one of those incredibly dull news/debate programs... I dunno who this guy is or what his story was, but he was hot, so I painted him.

PINK'S NEW VIDEO

I can'e believe that I'm about to come to the defense of Paris Hilton and Britney Spears, and yet I feel I am left with no alternative...
Bear with me...
So, lately I've been trying to abuse myself into being in better shape by attatching various limbs to machinery in our apartment complex's 'fitness' room... now, the only way I can make excersize (or 'working out' as the kids call it) slightly-less-physically-painful and slightly-less-psychologically-mind-numbing is by having the TV on VH1 Top 20 Video countdown.
Suffice it to say, it's the same 20 videos every single day, but sometimes they play them in different order. Roughly 87.428% of all of the top songs in America right now are sung by former 'American Idol' contestants... but I digress...
Watching this show (hosted by Matt Pinfield who used to host 'Headbanger's Ball' on Mtv - back when Mtv occasionally played music videos) means seeing videos over and over and over again. Ordinarily I don't care because, as I said, I'm hooked up to some machine that is making me thinner while causing every internal organ in my body to scream at me in agony.
Thus, I have seen Pink's latest video so many times now that I have begun to deconstruct it... it really only took one viewing for me to 'get' the video's 'point', but the more I think about it, the more irritated I am by it.
Even if you've never seen THIS video before, trust me - you've seen this video before.
Basically, it lampoons all of the 'hot girls' in pop-culture (i.e. Paris, Britney, J-Lo, etc.) and makes a bold statement about how women shouldn't hate their bodies or get plastic surgery or get tans or anything because the so-called 'beautiful people' are shallow and lame, blah blah blah blah blah ad-infinitum.
It depicts Pink trying really really hard to make herself into one of the 'beautiful people' through implants, fake-tanning and endless working out (naturally, she gets laughed at in the gym by little fitness-bimbos).
Anyway, the point of the video seems to be that all of these pop-divas, models and what-not suck, and it's cooler to just be yourself.
The annoying thing is that Pink IS one of the 'beautiful people'! She's CONSTANTLY parading around in tiny outfits that show off her body! Okay, so you're in band instead of the cheerleading squad - but that doesn't change the fact that you're HOT and your hotness is a major part of your bread-and-butter!
I know I'm the fool for looking into a music video's narration to find artistic integrity, but I've seen this exact same plot in videos over and over again (Shakira, Fionna Apple... I'm looking in YOUR direction here...).
Let's face it... the brand names they use are different, but Pink, Britney, Madonna, Fionna, Paris, Shakira, J-Lo (cripes, these names!), Christina, Mariah and all the rest are basically cut from the same cloth and no matter how 'rebellious' you act or what color you dye your hair, you're still one of the dreaded 'beautiful people' you claim to hate so much - so let's just drop the false charade, shall we? Thank you.
Now pardon me while I listen to some Janice Joplin and Cynci Lauper albums...

TERI HATCHER IS NOT HOT!!!

Okay, far be it from me to question the journalistic integrity of FHM MAGAZINE, but recently they published their '100 Hottest Women' supplement, and TERI HATCHER was #10 on the list!
Now, before you react and say "Dude! She's smokin', man!" let me tell you something... I've SEEN Teri Hatcher in real life, and she looks exactly like this:

Now, keep in mind, I have no beef with Teri Hatcher (other than she's choosing to age less-than-gracefully, but, hey - that's her business)... my beef is with all the magazines and hollywood rags constantly crowing about how HOT she is!
What's even MORE irritating is when they crow about how hot she is 'for her AGE'... she looks terrible for someone TWICE her age - let alone her ACTUAL age (which, according to my research, is 67).
Just to put things into perspective for you and further illustrate what set me off on this, here are some women that scarecrow BEAT in FHM's laughably inaccurate list of 'hot women': Josie Maran, Ashley Judd, Catherine Zeta Jones and Salma Hayeck!!!
I mean, c'mon, FHM... the world counts on you for unbiased and accurate reporting! Don't sacrifice your integrity just to follow people who are trendy... otherwise you'll end up just like 'Omni', 'The Economist' and 'Cat Fancy!'

VOICE SCHMOICE

Lately I've been having to do lots of what is known as 'Scratch Vocals'... basically, this means I go down to Disney's voice-recording booth and act out some of the voiceover lines as a temporary 'filler' until we can get the actual cast to cut their tracks.

This has gotten me thinking, as I often have before, about how annoying most actors are about their 'craft'.
Whenever you see posters for animated films coming out these days, they tout the 'celebrity' voices (as if knowing that @#$*!!! Jada Pinkett-Smith-Talentless-Twit is the voice of some zoo animal will increase ticket sales). Movie posters for animated films NEVER used to give the actors 'billing' because, after all - they ONLY provide the voice. The ANIMATORS count for at least 50% (if not more) of the character's acting... so it just makes no sense to put so much emphasis on the VO actors.
And yet now EVERYONE does it. Even beloved PIXAR (the only ones who DIDN'T do it until now) has given Paul Newman and Owen Wilson billing on their ads for "CARS" (which, though it looks cute, I'm significantly less excited by it than I was for'The Incredibles' - one of the best movies ever made).
But I digress... back to busting on actors...

Now, I have a handfull of acquaintances that are VO actors, and I hold them in very high regard and I have NOTHING but respect for their work... the fact is, being an EXCEPTIONAL VO actor can be very difficult... for instance, Mel Blanc (Bugs Bunny and a gazillion others), of course, is the god of that universe... Billy West (lots of characters) is great... Tom Kenny (Spongebob) and Darrin Norris (Cosmo from Fairly Oddparents)... they're all awesome and stand apart.
In fact, if I were any of them, I'd be EXTRA resentful of the Owen Wilsons and Paul Newmans and Ben Stillers and Eddie Murphys and Mike Meyers and Catherine Zeta-Jonses of the world because, let's face it: Blanc, West, Kenny and Norris all do VOICES... all of these other so-called big-shot actors just use their own voice. They don't 'create characters'... they're getting the jobs because some frustrated, starstruck animation executive wants to brush elbows with Hollywood elite.

During the buildup and hype of these films, you inevitably see interviews with the voiceover actors and they go on and on about how difficult it was because there was no set or cast around them (gee... many artists consider their 'imagination' to be their greatest tool... I guess that's not true for these actors, huh?) and how the artists would often copy their brilliant performances by watching them jabber away in the sound booths blah blah blah blah blah... basically they're all trying to make themselves sound like something more than the meat-puppets they really are.
Now, I've done some acting in my day... I took acting in college and did stand-up and improv-comedy when I lived in Detroit... I've also done a handfull of voiceovers for games and cartoons... lemme let you folks in on a little secret:
VOICEOVER ACTING IS ABOUT THE EASIEST FRIGGING THING IN THE UNIVERSE!!! You don't have to look nice, you don't have to wear makeup, you don't have to memorize lines, you can screw up a million times and it doesn't matter, YOU CAN DO IT OVER THE FRIGGING PHONE if you need to!

I did a voice a couple of years ago for "Chalk Zone" and every few months or so I'll get a check from the Screen Actor's Guild. EVERY time the cartoon airs, I get money.
Now, make no mistake, my 'role' was an extremely small part and "Chalk Zone" gets very little airplay... and yet I get money from it. JUST IMAGINE the boatloads of cash any one of these folks get for playing a MAJOR character on a cartoon that airs ALL THE TIME!

I'm telling you, it's easy money.

And, again, let me re-emphasize: I don't begrudge them their success. I resent the 'big names' who make it sound like they're such 'artistes' because they had to yammer away in a microphone using their own voices for a coupla hours.

grumble grumble grumble...

LECTURE

Believe it or not, I occasionally get paid to go around and lecture about what a pain the animation industry is.
If this sort of self-stylized masochism is your bag and you intend to be in Eugene, Oregon between May 12-14th, then look me up.
For More details go to www.eugenefilmfest.org

HUGE NEWS!!!

You people are NOT going to believe this! The Red Hot Chilli Peppers have a new ablum out and - get this - it's got a song on it about California!!!
But HERE'S the part that's REALLY gonna blow your mind: It's got a song about how L.A. is all shallow and awful and stuff!
Can you believe it? I just can't fathom how much they've evolved as a band over the last twelve years.
Wow.
Look, fellas, no one hates L.A. more than I do right now, but here's the big difference between you guys and the rest of us doomed souls who live here: YOU'RE MILLIONAIRES! BUY A HOUSE IN VALENCIA OR MADDISSON WISCONSIN AND SHUT UP ALREADY!!!
Yeah, yeah... we GET it... L.A. is full of shallow people and drugs... you must really hate shallow people and drugs to have stayed rock stars for so long.
I used to like RHCP, but they've officially lost me now.
I'm sure they'll be devastated when they hear the news.

IN STORES NOW... HOT MEXICAN LOVE!

-BURBANK- House of Secrets - 1930 W Olive Ave, Burbank, CA 91506 (818) 562-1900

-HOLLYWOOD- Meltdown - 7522 Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood, California 90064 (323)851-7223

-GLENDALE- Legacy Comics - 123 West Wilson, Glendale, CA. 91203 (818) 247-8803

-PASADENA- Comics Factory - 1298 E Colorado Blvd, Pasadena, 91106 (626) 585-0618

-SANTA MONICA- Hi De Ho Comics (& Books with Pictures) - 525 Santa Monica Boulevard, Santa Monica CA 90401
310-394-2820

-SHERMAN OAKS- Earth 2 - 15017 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks, CA 91403 (818) 386-9590

-STUDIO CITY- ComicSmash! - 11824 Ventura Blvd, Studio City, CA 91604 (818) 761-3753


This issue features a strip drawn by me and written by my fiancee Leigh (whom I believe I've mentioned before)... but it's jam packed with lots of other great stuff as well - so your money is wisely spent on this paper treasure!

What's that? You say you DON'T live in Los Angeles? Well, first of all, consider yourself lucky. Secondly, encourage your local comic book shop to contact me via FOUNTAINSPEN@AOL.COM so that they can order a gazillion copies!

Here's another snippet from me'n'Leigh's contribution...

SUPERFAST PAINTING

I had a very prolific weekend for painting... all in all, I think I must've done at least eight paintings. Most of them are pretty smalll - like these (8.5 by 10) and they were done with the intent of being 'loose', but I gotta say I'm pretty thrilled with the effects. They may seem sloppy, but I had a blast making them.

PROFESIONALISM IS OVERRATED

It's a beautiful Easter Sunday, and I just spent the last 2 hrs sitting on my porch drawing out pages for the new comic-book I hope to premier at either this year or next year's ComiCon (frankly, I have enough repressive deadlines in my life without imposing one on myself - so I'm not sure when I'll be done with it) and I can't remember the last time I've had this much fun drawing.
The animation industry (curse it to hades) has a way of making you hate drawing. I wake up dreading that I'll have to draw.
But after drawing out two panels in my sketchbook, all of that dread has been erased. I'm a happy camper.
And this may be the booze talking (I had a vodka tonic), but "doing it right" is far less enjoyable than "doing it fun".
I just darkened in lines to my sketchy, ultra-rough layouts and I couldn't be more thrilled with them. I wasted no time worrying about whether my characters were "on model" or whether or not the perspective was perfect... I just did it and did it in a way that was fun for ME.
Life's just too short not to enjoy your own creativity. I've spent far too much of my life already worrying about whether or not I was "good" and comparing myself to my peers.
I'm not saying that drawing things in a 'professional' way doesn't have it's place... I wouldn't have a job otherwise (and jops are handy for providing food, shelter and ultra-violent video games) - but if you're making something for your own enjoyment, take this little tip from Uncle John - stop worrying about whether or not you're doing it 'right' and just do it.
That's my little bit of zen enlightenment for today.
Happy Easter, Passover, or just happy-day-off-from-work.

WWW.LEIGHHOPE.BLOGSPOT.COM

I'm devoting today's page to letting everyone know that Leigh (my fiancee, collaborator and defender) has a blog now as well.
What you will undoubtedly discover is that her writings are much more entertaining than mine - and her blog will undoubtedly have multiple cute photos of our dog Otto... that, alone, is reason enough to go there.
Plus, I'm sure you can count on many paragraphs about what a jerk I am - which always makes for entertaining reading.
Take it away, hon!

TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

For reasons I don't fully understand, people have informed me that they've been unable to post comments for the past couple of weeks.
Regardless, I think I've fixed the problem.
Whenever there's a problem like this on my blog, you can be certain that it has a lot to do with the fact that I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with this stuff.
But, as a reward for your patience, here's a drawing of a hot girl.
Now scroll down and catch up with your snide remarks.

START SPREADIN' DI-SEASE!

This is a caricature of me'n'Leigh I drew on the back of the vomit bag during our flight from NY to LA.
Oy and quadruple OY... where do I begin?
Okay, so our trip to Kalamazoo was an absolute delight - everything went great. But once we set down in NY, it was a slow descent into the depths of hell for me'n'Leigh...
I honestly don't know where to begin... I may have Leigh put it into writing since she's better at telling the whole story than I am - but here's a condensed version:
Soon after arriving, the stress of Leigh's job (she was there for a work-related event that she was coordinating... I was tagging along) caused her to get bleforitis (or something) which is basically and INFECTION OF THE EYES causing them both to swell up like an alien egg-sac with pus and gunk.
So she winds up having to go see a doctor and gets put on this complex regiment of antibiotics and eyedrops, etc. etc. etc. Meanwhile, she has to keep working.
About a day later, I start feeling sick yet AGAIN (those of you who follow this blog may recall that this is now my THIRD time being sick in the past 2 months).
Just as her eyes are clearing up, my temperature starts to rise, I have these incredibly painful coughing fits, and I'm soaked with a cold sweat.
Before you know it, my temperature reaches a whopping 103.1... generally one would be hospitalized with a temp this high, but I refused seeing as how I knew that going to the hospital and sitting in a waiting room for ten hours would just make matters worse. Leigh's doctor diagnoses that I basically have a sinus infection that was on the verge of becoming pneumonia.
Leigh, with her network of connections, got me on antibiotics right away, but the fever was slow in breaking and I was delirious and miserable.
As my days of suffering go by, I start to improve slightly each day... then Leigh almost gets mugged by some random attacker in the middle of the day on the streets of NY. Fortunately, Leigh is tough as nails and warded him off heroically (again, I'll save the details for later).
Then SHE starts showing symptoms of the same horrible infections I had.
So by Monday, when we fly home, we're both in utter misery... we get to LA and the airline (YOU SUCK, UNITED!!!!) can't seem to figure out how to open the door to the luggage compartment, so we have to sit and wait in the airport for another hour and a half while they try to figure out the complex mechanics of opening a door. We're both sweating, tired, drugged-up, sniffling, sneezing, hacking and dripping mucas.
After we finally get our stuff, we run out to a cab - relieved to finally be closer to home and anxious to beat rush-hour traffic - and tell the guy to take us to Burbank. He replies "Where is that?" THIS IS AN LAX CAB DRIVER AND HE DOESN'T KNOW WHERE BURBANK IS!!!
So he drives around in circles for about 45 minutes until he finally figures out where the freeway onramp is. He then proceeds to take us (inexplicably) to Hollywood (this was after he had consulted his Thomas Guide and - we thought - figured out how to get to Burbank). We yell at him and direct him through surface roads to get us back home. The cab ride was over $100.
Again, this is a VERY abbreviated account of our trip, but in a nutshell: IT ALL SUCKED!
L.A. CABDRIVERS SUCK! UNITED ARILINES SUCKS! FLU VIRUSES SUCK!

SLAVES OF NY

Leigh and I are in NY after spending several days in Kalamazoom, and I gotta say - you can make fun of midwestern small-towns all you want, but we had a GREAT time there.
Honestly, I DO love NY and LA, but they really need to 'get over themselves'...
Yes, they're super cool, but Kalmazoo has lots and lots of character.
Anyway, I've had several gin'n'tonics and I've slept about 3 hrs in the past 5 days. Ao I'm gonna go... hope all of you are well.

AA MEETING

Also known as the "Animation Dinner with Ira."
My good pal Ira (seen here in the polka-dotten shirt) occassionally arranges these post-work dinner meetings where a bunch of animators get together and discuss the beloved industry we all work for.
Being the restless and obnoxious type that I am, I decided to do REALLY fast ink sketches of everyone at the table.
I shant reveal identities because then I know everyone will just write me and say "That looks nothing LIKE me!"
While Ira's intentions, I'm sure, are to use these as an opportunity to 'network' and 'share info', I rely on it purely as group-therapy that helps me tolerate some of the nonsense we all have to deal with in a field that's at the butt-end of the entertainment industry.

KALAMAZOO-BOUND

This weekend, Leigh and I are leaving on a 10-day journey that will take us across the skies to Kalamazoo and - ultimately - to New York City. Leigh's got some humungous work-related bash going on there... I dunno... she can explain it better.
Regardless, this trip to Kalamazoo will be Leigh's introductory visit with my parents - which I'm sure will be delightful and all, but flying from ANYWHERE to Kalamazoo is a carnival of horrors. It requires multiple layovers and connection flights - I don't even want to go into it all.
I'm looking forward to the trip, but not the traveling.
Anyway, coupla new posts below... take a look.

NASAL-SPRAY JUNKIE

Remember my "sick and tired of being sick and tired" post a couple of weeks ago? Well, a few days after feeling better from the flu, I got the world's worst COLD! I was actually fairly convinced that it was a sinus infection. The entire inside of my head and throat felt as if it had been invaded by some sort of microscopic alien creatures (pronounced kreee-CHOREs) who were building vast empires of mung in my nasal cavities.

After a shitty weekend of this I went to the doctor last Tuesday and got some really nifty pills that seemed to relieve the symptoms and give me REALLY messed-up dreams including one in which I was a flying orca whale.

Maybe that's boring to you, but I rarely have 'surreal' dreams... unfortunately, my dreams are seldom 'fantasies'. They're always extremely realistic and grounded pretty heavily in reality. Which sucks.

The only semi-recurring dream I have is one of flying - which is as 'crazy' as my dreams usually get... but even in those dreams, my flying ability isn't like 'Superman'-style... it is somehow justified as some sort of natural, physically evolutionary development, and it usually takes some sort of 'effort' on my part to do it (kinda like flexing a muscle).
This makes the dream much more 'real', and all the more of a disappointment when I wake up to find that I can't actually fly.

But I digress...

During my bout with whatever flesh-eating virus had made its home in my nose, I discovered the wonders of NASAL SPRAY! I'd never used it before and - initially - found the sensation of shooting a wet mist up my schnozz to be irritating and off-putting.
But about 15 minutes later, my sinuses opened up so well I swear I could SMELL GOD!

Leigh informed me that you shouldn't use the stuff for more than a couple of days because it can actually be addictive, which I now fully understand... after snorting this stuff a few times, I could breathe better than I ever could even when I WASN'T sick.

C'est la vie.

HOT MEXICAN LOVE

SHAMELESS PROMOTION TIME!
Many years ago, long before I moved to Los Angeles, a bunch of artists in the animation industry said "Hey, let's do a comic anthology" - and thus, some of cartoondom's top talent went to work on a series of strips that all related (some very loosely) to a Mexican theme. Out of this, 'Hot Mexican Love' was born thanks to the initiative of Albert Calleros, Larry Reynosa and Rob Goodin.
In the years that have passed, two volumes were created, and I am pleased to announce that a third volume has been compiled (thanks to my good pal and editor Ira Sherak) and will premier at the Alternative Press Expo on April 9th & 10th in lovely San Francisco, California.
The list of contributors are a 'who's who' of animation talent and I am proud to say that I and my lovely fiancee Leigh are among them.
Our story - written by Leigh and drawn by me - chronicles the legend of 'Montezuma's revenge' (the scatalogical phenomenon one experiences from drinking the water in Mexico).
This story actually marks our SECOND collaboration together (the first of which is in publishing limbo... but that's another story). We hope you like it...
I'll have more details about where/how/when you can obtain copies of the book, but until then if you wish feel free to e-mail me and I will make sure you get the hook-up.
The heart-logo above is the graphic 'teaser' for 'Hot Mexican Love' (copyright and trademark Hot Mexican Love Comics) and highlights a handfull of the art - the drawings below are a couple of samples from Me'n'Leigh's story.
Stay tuned for more info in the near future - you'll be glad you did!

ANTICIPATING APRIL

I'm really excited about April. I can't really say why at the moment - but it has something to do with this drawing (this particular image was a collaborative effort between myself, Cynthia French and Holly Kim - who did the amazing coloring on it).
It's one of those 'bittersweet' anticipations... but I'm excited nonetheless.
Anyway... I just wanted an excuse to post this image because I think it's rad.

SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED

I'm sick... and tired.
I feel as though for the past month and a half I've had maybe three days where I haven't felt sick. Right now I feel like I'm fighting off a cold... last week I had the flu...
I've been waking up every morning with achy joints and sore muscles (such as they are). I can't seem to get enough sleep - EVER.
Leigh thinks it's stress... she's probably right, but if I could just switch my stress 'off' I'd have done it a long time ago.
I've always felt that I have a mild case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... some would say that it's not so mild... I'd try to 'do' something about it if it weren't for the fact that my OCD seems to make me REALLY GOOD at managing my time and prioritizing my goals.
Here's an example of how my brain works... while I'm driving home from work, I will plot out my exact course from the second I walk in the door. Let's say I've decided to have spaghetti for dinner... that means I have to boil water... let's also say I have to go to the bathroom really badly... so I get home and before I even take off my coat, I go to the kitchen, fill up a pot with water and put it on the stove... THEN I will go take off my coat, THEN go to the bathroom... I have just saved myself aproxomately nine seconds of valuable time by overlapping my coat/bathroom time with the water-boiling time.
I work this way CONSTANTLY. And that's just one example of how my OCD works with SMALL things... you can just imagine how it dictates more important matters.
On the one hand, it has made me GREAT at meeting my deadlines... on the other hand, it has made me really uptight. I have a whole 'shutting down' ritual I have to go through every night to turn off my brain or I can't sleep.
It's no wonder I'm sick.
Anyway, it's this kind of mania that inspired this comic strip. If you click on the image it'll be large enough to actually read.

SKETCHY BEHAVIOR

Here are some really quick paintings I did in my sketchbook. I love sketches... a lot of times I like sketches more than finished art.
These were done with one of those marvelous brush-pens and a travel watercolor kit.
What's nice about watercolor is that it has an immediacy and kinneticism to it that other paints don't have... plus, when you can't draw for shit (like me) it makes your doodles look like they were 'meant' to look rough.

I first decided to put sketchbook scans up on the blog when I saw them on Louie Del Carmen's blog (randomanomalies.blogspot.com) and thought they looked incredibly cool... now, in retrospect, I realize that I've just set myself up for a horrifyingly disappointing comparison... oh well... enjoy these drawings, but if you wanna see really GOOD stuff, go to Louie's blog. He's my hero.

OSCAR MADNESS

Ah, the Oscars... the big night where Hollwyood gathers together to collectively pat itself on the back for mastering the fine art of 'pretending on film'...

But I kid Hollywood...

I LOVE movies, I just hate the movie industry. Or something. I dunno. I guess that's kind of hypocritical. Oh well.

I thought John Stewart did a good job, but I've always dug him.

Frankly, though, in the past decade I thought the two best hosts were Steve Martin and David Letterman.

The good news is, "Wallace and Grommit" got the award for best animated feature... how come the media always makes such a big deal about how 'CGI is replacing traditional animation' and yet I didn't see ANY stories about the fact that this year there were NO CGI nominees and TWO of the THREE nominees were STOP-MOTION animation???

I'm really tired of the 'animated characters' giving out awards, too... they have live-action directors give out awards... why not animation directors?

Oh, that's right... because we suck...

Anyway...

I liked Clooney's speech... he's a class act and oh-so easy on the eyes!

I'm glad "Crash" won because I liked it and it's the only one of the nominees that I actually saw. I eventually want to see ALL of them, but there are just too many good (and bad) horror and gore movies coming out these days - how am I supposed to find the time to go see "Brokeback Mountain" when "Hostel" and "Wolf Creek" beckon me and tempt my desire to see humans hunted for sport? (oh, c'mon... it's a joke... lighten up)

My biggest complain of the show was when the woman sang the song from Crash (I'm too busy and too lazy to look up names) and they had this incredibly gay 'broadway-style' production going on in the background of people pantomiming - what - the ills of race relations in our society? IN PANTOMIME?
During one of the closeups I saw one of the background dancers who was (or was portraying) a 'hispanic' character complete with greased back hair and hairnet. The rest of the background dancers were similarly stereotypical.
Wasn't the point (or one of them) of "Crash" that we are all our own best/worst stereotypes? And yet for their little Oscar number they might as well have had a Native American in full headdress 'whoo-whoo'-ing to complete their chorus line of stereotypes.

I've also read articles this year that praised Hollywood for producing movies of "substance" - unlike previous years with the horrid likes of "The Lord of the Rings" and "Spider-Man".

Hey, pretentious-art-school-dropout-entertainment-writers... I got yer 'substance' RIGHT HERE! (pointing at crotch for some reason).

Oh well... the only other upset for me was that "Revenge of the Sith" got no nominations - not even for music, effects or anything like that.

Funny, isn't it, how Star Wars has shaped our popular culture more than any other film in the past umpteen decades and yet somehow the Academy still manages to see no merit in them.

This is one of my worst, most incoherent blog entries to date. I'm really tired. I'm stopping now.

SHUT UP!!!

Don't you people EVER shut up?
I don't mean YOU people... you people are obviously solid citizens because you're reading my blog.

I mean the people who NEVER shut up.

In the apartment complex I call "home" it seems as though there are always people standing outside my window yammering it up at 3 AM. I'm not just talking about on weekends, either... I'm slightly more forgiving of that... but it'll be 3:37 AM on a Tuesday and there will be two, drunken, fratboy chuckleheads whooping it up outside.

The way this complex is laid out, it has several concrete 'courtyards' all of which may as well have 'Marshall' stamped on them because they amplify sound to the point where if a cockroach takes a dump, I can tell what he had for dinner by its impact onto the ground.

Tonight, by the way, it was "Koo Koo Roo" chicken wings and human snot.

But I digress...

You can well imagine that if the sounds of cockroach crap are hear-able (yes... 'hear-able'... it's 4:21 AM on a Wednesday and I feel like death, so just deal with it) then you can just imagine how chrystal clear every "DUDE!" from fratboy conversation echoes through the cul-de-sacs...

The thing I don't get is: WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS HOUR ON A SCHOOL NIGHT? DON'T YOU HAVE JOBS? AREN'T YOU TIRED?

My apartment complex is NOT cheap... HOW DO THEY PAY THEIR RENT??? I direct cartoons for Disney and I barely get by every month... how do they DO it???

And trust me, these are not blue-collar joes trying to put food on the table for their salt-of-the-earth families by taking a night-shift... these are pink, healthy, manicured young folk who obviously live off of some sort of new-money parental trust-fund.

Anyway, I'm thinking of becoming a 'noise vigilante' who dresses like Batman at night and runs around abducting these types and locking them in a Dodge Stratus with "Convoy" playing on a continuous loop with the volume at full blast and letting them rot there until the car battery runs out.

Okay, not really, but it's fun to dream...